I look forward to Linda McMahon’s Small Business Administration giving a billion dollar development grant to this scrappy, upstart football league.

I wonder if the NFLPA might be a little better at negotiating if they had fewer representatives with massive brain trauma.

Both of the Bills’ starting corners from last year are going to the Super Bowl.

As Jesus said, “Let he who has not cheated on his third wife with a porn star cast the first stone”. Amen.

“He made Deion Branch a Super Bowl MVP” should be on his plaque in Canton.

See also Rex Ryan switching the monstrous Bills defense from the previous season’s 4-3 to a 3-4, including moving a couple of badass defensive ends to linebacker, and fucking it all up.

Isn’t that the commercial version of that Nutriloaf that prisons aren’t allowed to serve to inmates any more?

I’ve always likened them to the casting call for a subpar Coen Brothers movie.

How fucked up is it that Ben Carson, Sleepy Surgeon seems to be the most stable and decent person in this sub-Infowars cabinet?

Also, most of the drugs that are actually ruining people’s lives are coming from American pharmaceutical companies and over-prescribing doctors.

Maybe he doesn’t understand that Honduras is a different country? Every place with Spanish-speaking citizens is just “Mexico” now.

I got greyed for pointing out that the WNBA is a niche sport and nobody gives a shit when their draft is.

Best dinner food for breakfast — french fries. Swap those in for the home fries or hash browns next time you’re having a diner breakfast.

WHY DID I ORDER ARBYS FROM GRUBHUB?

I also work for an insurance company. It’s drained away literally all my faith in my fellow humans to make decisions. Is that normal?

sunglasses on head

Next comes a dozen baby showers a year. Then baptisms. Then divorces.

If I lived in Norway, contemplated coming to America, and then watched Donnie’s “American Carnage” inauguration speech I would nope right the fuck out of that decision.

“Ah, shit.” —Clarkson

Shit, there were two different AHL teams called the Admirals at the same time. Collisions happen.