I’ve always likened them to the casting call for a subpar Coen Brothers movie.

How fucked up is it that Ben Carson, Sleepy Surgeon seems to be the most stable and decent person in this sub-Infowars cabinet?

Also, most of the drugs that are actually ruining people’s lives are coming from American pharmaceutical companies and over-prescribing doctors.

Maybe he doesn’t understand that Honduras is a different country? Every place with Spanish-speaking citizens is just “Mexico” now.

I got greyed for pointing out that the WNBA is a niche sport and nobody gives a shit when their draft is.

Best dinner food for breakfast — french fries. Swap those in for the home fries or hash browns next time you’re having a diner breakfast.

WHY DID I ORDER ARBYS FROM GRUBHUB?

I also work for an insurance company. It’s drained away literally all my faith in my fellow humans to make decisions. Is that normal?

sunglasses on head

Next comes a dozen baby showers a year. Then baptisms. Then divorces.

If I lived in Norway, contemplated coming to America, and then watched Donnie’s “American Carnage” inauguration speech I would nope right the fuck out of that decision.

“Ah, shit.” —Clarkson

Shit, there were two different AHL teams called the Admirals at the same time. Collisions happen.

If Buffalo actually won a Super Bowl, I’d orgasm for 6 months.

I’d find somewhere else to do that, since if Buffalo won a Super Bowl the entirety of Erie County would be burned to the ground in celebration.

Well, sure. All these years and they haven’t noticed that vehicles exist.

I could go back every year in time and unearth some instance of an athlete being hoodwinked out of millions of dollars by some shadyass businessman.

Any one else read “The Man Who Outran Hitler” in high school? Poor Jesse Owens got robbed six ways from Sunday by these guys.

I’m pretty sure the Bills have a patent on building a monstrosity of a stadium south of the city in the middle of fucking nowhere.

If this goes through, invest in Carolina-based folding table companies.

Where the fuck are their parents?

Also in Southern Ohio.

“It’s a misunderstanding, he meant to say horrible shit about the opponent’s sister.”

College football — where everyone gets rich except the guys actually playing the game. They get brain damage instead.