Strategic kitten reserves are a staple of any good party.

As a Lions fan I can take solace in the fact that we scored as many touchdowns in the Super Bowl as the Rams.

Jeremy Renner is the guar gum of actors. I’m not entirely sure what he/it does - he/it is some kind of filler or binding agent or something? but he/it is in seemingly everything and producers think he/it is somehow an essential ingredient, but no one wants to consume him/it on its own. 

porno is funnier than porn.

First time, long time: Just wondering about the workshop process for “porno” and not “porn.”

I find anything less than 600 hp a bore in a supercar. I wish Porsche would put an electric motor in my Turbo S so that I am not constantly being shamed at the club.  580 hp is, how should I say, humiliating.

What bothers me about Saints fans is that they’ve won one Superbowl yet act like they are a dynasty. They seriously think they are on par with the Steelers, Cowboys, Patriots and 49ers as far as championship excellence.

Considering how shitty of a person he was, I’d say complaining about Andrew Jackson should be allowed in perpetuity. 

Like a Panamera SportTurismo

Obviously I can tell what kind of person you are, but I’ll still go ahead and clarify that it is possible to both feel sympathy for the families of murder victims and also hate that cops murder innocent black people without hesitation while letting naked white murderers finish a marathon before figuring out what they…

it takes an even more special kind of asshole to NOT point out the difference in outcomes as they relate to skin color. fuck you.

“Some people are fans of the Los Angeles Chargers.”

That’s because the dog is trained only to subdue a suspect if the situation suspect is completely black and white.

Ah Florida. ‘Murica’s limp, STD-infected dick.

Huh. He doesn’t look Japanese.

That dude killed two women and a child and spent an hour running around naked, trying to tackle and wrestle police officers, who absolutely refused to use their service weapons against him, and if watching that video doesn’t tell you 100% the difference between how the police treat black people and white people,…

Also, IIRC, Kitna was part of the 0-16 Lions squad.  

In grad school I would scoff at Hobbes. Now, as I survey the landscape that is my country, I regretfully apologize to his memory.

I think you would have difficulty getting 15 seconds into an explanation of social contracts with large sections of this country before you were denounced as a socialist.

Do Americans even understand what a society is?