The implied metaphor here is the "paving" part. Nothing is being paved (covered with asphalt, concrete, or stone). They certainly do block for him, but they do not literally pave anything (unless they pave his driveway in the off-season). 

Except the real value of mathematics is teaching rigorous application of logical critical thinking. If you still recall in your job as assistant regional manager of sales, ten years after high school geometry, how to calculate the hypotenuse of a right triangle, that’s great; what’s better is if you remember how to…

I’m sorry about your circumstances too, you didn’t HAVE to have 4 kids.  Back of the line.

STRIKE!

Bill Burr is a goddamned national treasure. Has been killing it since he assassinated Philadelphia in 2006.

Hey man, I can relate. We’ve been married almost three years now and I’m still like, 17% sure this is all just an elaborate organ theft scheme.

If he saved 100 puppies on the way to the game, he definitely gets a pass.

Considering her beat is generally as a legal expert writing about players accused of violent crimes, you may not want that...

It’s almost as if the ball was possessed by somebody kind of

I’ve watched this video roughly 20 times and I still can’t figure out how the hell that ball got out of the bunker

Growing up, we always did the comeback the night before work move. My wife introduced me to the one-day at home after the trip. It’s been a Godsend. My family doesn’t understand why we leave the extra day early, but it’s made vacations so much easier. You can get home, do laundry, stock the fridge, all at a leisurely…

And I still go to the grocery store to get my shit, mostly because I don’t want someone picking my steak for me. I want full steak control. I also reserve the right to make an impulse pork rinds purchase if I so desire.

Vogt in an interview shortly afterwards.

I actually kind of get this one. Cervelli is sitting there listening to this dude bitch and moan and it is probably getting kind of boring so he’s like fuck it let me stand up, walk away and let this guy do his thing. Then Eaton sees the catcher walk away and now he is being shown up so he says something to him…

“I went on a vacation to Cleveland”

I am wondering if the agent was so unused to infants with passports and used to parents showing birth certificates that she was unaware that a passport = birth certificate-plus

Loved the over and back by Harden at about 8-9 seconds left.

“Next time: The beautiful melancholy of Breakfast At Tiffany’s.”

“K-cups are the most wasteful innovation in beverage technology”

Well, you found it in 30 seconds plus a day after the Detroit News found it and reported on it. Why are you patting yourself on the back about this? Why didn’t you find it in the years he worked for the Patriots? If this takes 30 seconds to find, why haven’t you already plugged the name of every NFL coach,…