“Sir, what makes you qualified for this position?”

“I will get a lot of flak for this (full disclosure, white man about to agree with other richer white man) but I get what Matt Damon is trying to say, he just said it poorly.”

All of this has happened before…

“...by a large margin.”

I can’t remember what comic it is (I just remember that he is Canadian) says that the best rule of thumb is “Don’t say anything to a woman on the street that you wouldn’t want a guy saying to you in prison”.

I needed to post this to counter the strained fake happy of the grifter-in-chief and his woman.

Why not? It’s the official font of 45's thought bubbles.

I refuse to feel bad for that woman. She knew exactly what she was getting into when she took the job. Fuck her woe is me bullshit.

The GOP would happily get rid of all of those right now if given the opportunity.

It’s cool that policy is shown to us like prizes in The Price is Right. Befitting for a game show host.

When Plemons was on Breaking Bad, fans called him Meth Damon.

Also, IF C.K. (and Franken and whoever else) isn’t going to do it again it’s PRECISELY because of the fucking consequences he faced. Like, he had years to just come forward on his own and say “yeah, I did this, I feel bad.” Biiiig surprise that he didn’t. He didn’t say anything until it affected his big fat…

She converted oxygen, sugars and fats into carbon dioxide and heat.

I’ve said it before but I especially hate the Father Of A Daughter line. Fuck you. Either you care about this because you’re a decent human being, or you don’t. I don’t have a daughter. I have a son. And I’d argue that as a woman who’s been sexually assaulted, I care more about raising him to properly respect others…

I’m a fan of Matt Damon’s. I was also a fan of Louis CK, Roman Polanski, and Woody Allen. Matt Damon is working really hard to make me not a fan of Matt Damon.

Right? Matt, baby, listen: no one will think you’re pretty if you don’t shut up. Just stop talking, there. And smile! You’re so much nicer-looking when you smile. /ugh

Q: Is there a difference between butt grabbing and rape?

Officially incorporating shut your butt mouth into my everyday speech. I have a feeling I’m going to need it a lot when the family comes for xmas and starts talking politics.

Children are so much easier to teach than grown men.