KILL IT WITH FIRE

And now I know who this blind is about.

Hasn’t it always been okay? I mean, brunch is a thing for a reason. I have no shame drinking at 1030am.

Everyone can kiss my entire ass about this. I still say that suit looks amazing on him, and I stand by that.

And Obama. Thanks, Dad.

I am totally having a forced convo with my 19 year old son every night, making sure he is following this. This is history. This is “where were you when Kennedy died” and “where were you on 9/11" level stuff.

All I know for sure is that this impeachment hearing is going to be SO MUCH BETTER than “What is the definition of ‘is’?” Although, to give Bill credit, that was awesome. Not on a human level, but on a base, gross, I’m so upset that I actually liked this level. This will be better, though.

THE HEIR OF SLYTHERIN

I stole it. It spoke to me. :)

Sigh.

My dad is doing this. And I hate it. He just made 78 and is telling all the same racist stories over and over again, and doing lots of toddler-like things.

I don’t have the Valium, but I am a go with the vodka.

I just hate her so much that, even though I hate pettiness, I will absolutely be that person when it comes to her.

Cuntess McFuckface

I said it before and I’ll say it again. This is the picture of vodka and Valium. Trust.

Dear Kellyanne,

I knew you guys would love it like I did!

Isn’t it just everything we have been trying to say? So perfect.

I saw this comment on a similar article elsewhere and I love it so much that I want to share:

Oh, stop it. I have a certified letter (https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2017-05-09/trump-preparing-certified-letter-attesting-to-no-russia-ties) stating that I definitely and for real saw the boogie man in my closet when I was 4. CERTIFIED LETTERS ARE SO HARD TO GET, YOU GUYS.