Don’t feel bad about that! 43 year old mom who is about to be level 32. :-)

I GOT A CLEFFA YESTERDAY!!

Well, a few hours ago, the holiday event started where bulbasaur, squirtle, charmander, and all their evolutions are popping up all over the gd place for the next few days.

Is anyone else still playing Pokémon Go? My 19 year old son, who lives with his dad, is still playing, so I have been playing with him and we have a competition of sorts going on. This evening, they started the big holiday event and I am currently sitting in a bar, alone, because there are 2 pokestops right here and I…

ILY, Kara.

More like grilled cheesus amirite?

Thank you. That’s very kind. You are very kind.

I don’t think people understand if they are not ALONE alone. I dont have a child to spend time with, or a husband, or a child that wants to spend time with me but I can’t. I’m truly fucking alone. And I get that everyone’s life is weird and yucky. But I AM ALONE TODAY AND TOMORROW BECAUSE I HAVE NO ONE. If you have…

The extended family did an early Christmas yesterday to accommodate everyone’s schedule, and even years are the ones my son spends with his dad. So, I have been alone in my pajamas all day reading. I will also be alone tomorrow but plan to go to see Sing because it looks cute and the theater opens at 11am. Afterwards,…

I have an insane and admittedly odd love for Martin Freeman. He is smart, witty, and has impeccable comedic timing. WOULD DO.

People are running out of pearls to clutch. Someone needs to dive for more pearls in China and the south seas BECAUSE THE WHITE PEOPLE ARE RUNNING OUT OF PEARLS TO CLUTCH.

It immediately became sketchy when I saw Kayla spelled with a C.

One morning, I got dressed upstairs and tried to go downstairs but there was a snake wrapping his ass around the handrail. So I NOPED my ass back upstairs, called in sick to work, and called 47 people to come save me. One mother fucker showed up. God bless Kyle. And fuck all those macho dudes who pretended they didn’t…

Well, Lauren, you are a fount of joyfulness today....

“Sickened by their Jew agenda”

It almost seems like he did everything he could to lose the presidency short of actually saying, “Only vote for me if you are an idiot and want us all to die.” Yet people voted for him. And now he’s president. So he is nominating the actual worst mofos imaginable. And people are all “Meh, we don’t care.”

Lamb by Christopher Moore. Funniest book I’ve ever read and you won’t be able to put it down by the end of chapter 2.

This is what happens when shoppers are inundated with shitty Christmas music. And let me be clear: all Christmas music is shitty.

I was looking for something but came across this instead and now I can’t stop watching it.

My baby’s too bootylicious for YOUR babe?