BUT HER FUCKING EMAILS

And now, a joke. A Utah farmer dies and goes to heaven, where he is turned away for his sinful life and sent to hell. The Devil greets the farmer in hell “Welcome you sinful bastard, to hell! As punishment, you shall now work this barren patch of land for all of eternity in the blazing heat!” The devil then leaves the…

I swear to God there is a dimension only accessible to children. You would not believe some of the shit that my kids have managed to combine together, like the time my son managed to get an exercise ball stuck inside the dryer, like full size “I sit on this so I look cool” exercise ball....

Let’s make this very clear. The belief that, say, transgender people shouldn’t be allowed to use the bathrooms of their choice is disgusting, and I disagree with it. The belief that women shouldn’t have the right to control their own bodies is disgusting, and I disagree with it. The belief that blacks and Jews should…

I think everything Donald does is driven by a surface hatred of Obama, and a much deeper desperate need to be Obama.

What are they going to do after that “cutting”? Pretend to eat it, like at a 5 yr. old’s ‘tea party’?

My late grandparents survived the Holocaust, so the fact that stories like this are still happening today is surreal if not entirely surprising. But I must admit I find the handwringing over whether or not it’s OK to punch Nazis to be kinda sickening. Dude believes that all non-whites should be removed from America in…

Tangentially related but how cute is Ian mckellen’s sign for the women’s march?

”What are your thoughts on the inauguration, Squall?” 

I’ve always thought of the Prius as a niche vehicle but this is ridiculous.

She didn’t need a lot of words. The ones she stole were great. Fantastic. Only the best words.

What can I say? I can’t resist a golden opportunity.

Doubtful, Nintendo has mastered the art of shorting supplies.

Nothing witty, I just hope he fucking dies.

Or, we could leave him alone and watch him become president in 2044.

fave joke thus far:

Fair. But still fuck this screen!

Is Mike Dunleavy a Fancy Dog? An Investigation: