I know exactly what you’re talking about, as I know hordes of women like this (family members and their girlfriends). I remember years ago on MySpace where they would all change their usernames to “The Future Mrs. HisFirstName HisLastName.” Dog and pony shows every month. Many are now divorced, not surprisingly.

Right. Whassa’s comment history totes justifies you being a prick, too.

I’m saying it’s gross to tell a black woman that she needs a history lesson and a two by four to the head.

I don’t know why certain commenters are coming down so hard on you but I do see a lot of people that feel the need to defend marriage with such intensity that I suspect they question their own reasons for getting married. Lots of people (not just some or a few) get married for the wrong reasons, that is a fact, if it…

What the fuck? Like, your apprehension is warranted, I guess, but if you’re seriously telling a black woman (“if you are as you say your are”) she needs a “history lesson and a two by four to the head” you aren’t any fucking peach either. Christ.

OH MY GOD. HER 12-YEAR-OLD NEPHEW MIGHT DISCOVER A PENIS!!!! <insert gif of ship, already sailed>

That's what they said about the pancreas and where are those people now?

I didn’t.

What?

It’s so rooted in primitive marriage customs. It’s a goddamn dowry, let’s just be honest about it. It’s a de Beers sponsored dowry. The social media sharing is just the modern day ceremony of acknowledging the transfer of ownership from one man to another. “Ooohh how much was SHE worth??” Say the villagers.

BOOM! You should want to be with someone who wants to be with you. Courthouse or no courthouse. Wedding or no wedding... PERIOD. And people who crave the proposal, ceremony, dress, party, honeymoon and never-ending debt are even more delusional than they know. If you want to be with this person more than you want a…

I don’t have shitty friends. They are complex human beings like the rest of us, entitled to want what they want. But just as they can feel that way, I can also feel annoyed when they come to me with for the millionth time with this and offer my advice as stated above. They are also not the only pocket of women that…

I have never had a friend or acquaintance who pulled off the ultimatum thing without having doubts before/during / after the marriage about whether or not their spouse *really* wanted to marry them That is a shitty place to be.

I AM REFERRING SPECIFICALLY TO PEOPLE THAT ARE SEEKING A RING AND A PARTY.

My point is that if you want to get married for ring and party and titles above all else and are pissed that the guy hasn’t proposed, you should find a guy that will propose instead of using an ultimatum or trying to wear someone down.

Do explain how the fact that I understand that not everyone gets married for the same reasons invalidates everything else I said?

You’re missing the part where there are just people in this world, even if you don’t like it or don’t know them that will say, “I want a wedding. I want a ring. I want to be his wife. Or I will go find someone that wants to marry me and have a wedding and call me his wife.” I have had at least 3 friends do this. You…

There’s “ultimatum” and then there’s figuring out if both of you are on the same page. I don’t fault any woman for asking if their futures line up. Why should any woman who is looking to get married waste her time on a relationship where the man thought was temporary?

I know I am a grizzled not quite old lady but every time a friend comes to me bitching about the lack of a proposal and how she can’t stand the idea of still being just his girlfriend, my response is, “If you can leave this relationship over a ring and a party, you should probably go find someone you want to spend…