This weekend, I went to a Greek Festival with my mother-in-law, her cousin, and her cousin’s daughter. Three of us got the same horrible henna tattoo of a seahorse. We carefully wrapped them before bed and they all smeared into weird black blobs. My seahorse looks like it’s pooping a fireball.

I just had to do this for a trip to the corporate mother ship (our local office is much more casual). You will be unhappy to know that no one is selling regular old lawyer suits right now. Everything is ultra feminine and will be out of style in a season. WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME, CALVIN KLEIN?

This weekend my buds and I drank all day and then at the end of the night played “one minute make overs”. Basically two people each got one half of a face. Timer was set to 60 seconds.

Jezebel is literally the only place I ever make comments on, because it’s generally a safe place where people don’t pick weird fights and tear each other down. Generally. Because nowhere is truly safe.

Jesus Christ, yes. Fucking nobody gets educated about what hymens actually are.

It puts them all on the same level so that the virgins won’t realize how awful these dudes are at the sex thing.

/a girl with a pelvic tattoo walks into frame

I encourage “No Hymen, No Diamond”, in that women should have premarital sex and people should not support the diamond industry.

Red Flag: any man who insists on knowing how many men you’ve slept with.

Um, I’m okay with MRAs narrowing their chances of marrying/fucking any women at all. This sounds like risk reduction.

Guys, I’m like, so broken up that I won’t be able to marry an angry misogynist.

One 24-year-old woman told me that her boyfriend broke up with her because ‘he told me that I wasn’t girlfriend material because I had been with 10 guys

More like Goodbyemen.

Den Fujita’s Business Strategies 2: Overwhelming Business Strategies

I’ve always thought the hedgehog/Guy Fieri pairing was one for the hall of fame.

Judge me if you will, but this is my absolute favorite Jezebel feature and I live only for its appearance on Wednesdays. Last week was difficult for me.

Serial was not really about whether Adnan did it. It was about the trial and the system.

I hope not...I liked that Serial season 1 was more of a local story, one that I had never heard before.

Proceed with extreme caution around the more mature bears.

The soup of the day is usually Hitler miss, but I’m sure you’ll just Goebbels up today’s gestapo soup.