Now I have “spandex burger” and “slug trailing” to add to my vocabulary.

Common fucking decency...

NONE OF THESE THINGS ARE THE BOOKSTORE EMPLOYEES RESPONSIBILITY!!! Taking the kids back to his parents is the only logical thing to do to avoid having to do the rest of this bullshit.

Because if the kid were to do something wrong/get hurt/be kidnapped/literally anything went wrong it would be a huge liability to the company.

I kind of want to be one of the women modeling these so I can ask these fine gentlemen to name the exact “lady-bits” they can see while I'm wearing leggings, then watch them squirm when they don't know what a vagina is.

Oh my god, this is terrible...

Oh my god! I'm so, so sorry! I don't even have anything else to say, but know that there's someone out there who truly feels for you.

Ugh, I’m supposed to start mine next Saturday, which just also happens to be the day the boyf and I are moving into our first apartment together. Should be a raging good time (literally, raging).

Thank you! I've read it no less than 5 times and my brain just keeps misfiring. It makes no sense!

Creed

You’re right!

Except dogs don't typically live to be 18.

Seriously! I had a job interview a little over a month ago and it took me weeks to find a decent suit. When I did eventually find one (thank you, Anne Klein) I had to buy a jacket that was two sizes smaller than the pants, which just gave my confidence a big ol’ boost.

Honestly, though, what makes these men think that any woman would want a diamond from them?

I just went back and re-read it and Can. Not. Stop. Laughing. Specifically at this part.

I wish I could like this one million and one times. It is absolutely insane.

Ladies don’t poop, and if they’re peeing, they hover, so temperature shouldn’t matter.

I see Kim is sporting the Yeezy Season 2 special.