For some reason NBC fawns over the Kings at an unbelievable level.

Is there ever an NBA season that doesn't end with the Miami Heat in the Final? The NBA is the worst.

Chilton got 3 places... Which seams pointless unless they plan on starting him from the stands.

No. The mouse you showed was whipped. The moose in the video was crushed...

I began with the obvious because toaster car is just so happy looking

I can make a better pizza myself in 25 minutes with fresh ingredients from Trader Joes for $11.

I don't know how people can possibly think of Chipotle as anything like Mexican food. I think of it more as "hungry, don't have a lot of cash, want something that resembles food" food.

You know how they say when you die your whole life flashes before your eyes ? When I watch my own little movie at the end, my right arm is just going to be a blur, from opening scene to end credits.

There has to be a name for the undocumented ritual of men scrambling to unzip pants and do a mad dash for the preferred masturbation nook as soon as the lady in their life disappears for five minutes. I speak from a position of experience when I say the game of "can I wank before she gets back and will she be the…

Um, three times yesterday? (I found a new fetish illustrator and there went my afternoon). Once today? It's 2pm.

My boyfriend calls it the dragon that cannot be tamed.

As a man, everything i do in my free time is weighed against masturbating. I'm constantly asking myself, "Would this time be better spent masturbating?"

It sort of varies, depending on my hormone levels, level of activity, whether or not there's a hot boy I'm crushing on...

This is the only thing that should be called a wagon

Quinoa

Because I'm not allowed to go to the lot and just "look" without being hassled. Because they still think "working out numbers" is still a phrase to use. Because they don't stop calling you about your visit. Because they want to sell you the car they need to hit their quota, not the car you want.

as a new yorker, i'd much rather join up with jersey

That's what happened in Canton, Massachusetts recently when Rosie, a rambunctious 12-week-old German Shepherd puppy, was involved in mishap that put her, her owner, and her owner's Dodge Neon into a pond. What a 'lil stinker!

MMmmm.. look at that nice, metallic magic sharpie paint

I can't wait to start my kickstarter campaign to put solar panels on the heads of bald people.