Wait. Hitler was Catholic? I knew there was a reason I didn't like him.

She looks like she just finished her shift at Hot Dog on a Stick.

A Man Called Horse 6: Citizens on Patrol?

"Either your brains, or my poorly-written, expository dialogue with no sense of subtlety will be on that page."

That is still better than Jared Leto's.

Canada.

So you fell in love with a xenomorph? Can I ask why it didn't work out?

Yup.

I was at that show, too! I wish they would tour with Amiina again.

Yeah, I'm pretty offended that you described your dad as Jewish.

Did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Screenwriting School too?

The Internet is going crazy over what Bill Crosby said about Free Foxes!

Your cousin's problem was that he wasn't good at swimming.

It's fantastic news if the TV host is Geraldo Rivera.

Let us all bask in Harvard's warm glowing warming glow.

You misspelled "Out of Sight is one of the best movies of the 90s."

Mac And Me And Bob And Carol And Ted And Alice

Don't joke about that. I lost five good friends in the War on Christmas. You ever try to invade the North Pole?

"I'm going to haul-ass to Lollapalooza*!"

I feel that's sort of like getting upset that Hitler was being advised by Nazis.