Sit down Chris, they moved the chains.

I’m curious how Goodell will respond. On the one hand, he hates celebrations, on the other, the League likes to look the other way when players are getting their bells rung.

White men fighting in Philly? Yawn.

This is the most Philadelphia moment ever: the Eagles, uncool white guys, troubling political views, Amoroso rolls.

The important thing is that we can retain our self-esteem through our ignorance.

Yo will someone put JR on a god damn form of currency already? This man is a fucking american hero.

Always tryna get at that 2nd Amendment.

Jesus Christ are you really making me pick sides between Florio and JJ Watt?

Once again, a black man discovers the Blues, but it’s white guys who make money off them.

I doubt he has the tolerance level to enjoy Manziels level of highs

John Wilkes Booth: “Yo man, I’mma let you finish, but I had the greatest play interruption of all time!”

He was dangerously close to having fun. He should get beaned

Miller’s response was much better than that of the Tennessee mother who, on seeing the picture, claimed Newton got her wet.

Hey now, British troops could fill our streets any time now with muskets drawn and when that happens, how could we possibly defend ourselves?

I always thought the Browns Uncertainty Principle was you can know their coach and know their quarterback but never both at the same time

Hello, Black Americans. We understand your issue with race and all, and I’mma let you finish, but we’ve really been screwed over for a couple hundred years longer than you and nobody seems to give a shit any more.

Actually that quote describes the insane NYC housing market as well as it does the Yankees ticketing policy.

Somehow, this makes you the resident Yankee fan:

Mine was Panty-dropping Purple.

My Plymouth Duster vs your Beretta. Flag pole, after school.