Both tits, now calm both tits

It’s not about the virus killing people.

When I was in college, I worked in a catering service that the university’s alumni association used all the time. The staff there were complete condescending DICKS to me.

“I be fine with a woman as President. But I just don’t want Christine LaGarde to be that President.”

I would prefer if Mike Pence stood behind him and whacked him the back of the head with a 2x4 after each lie/misstatement. 

““Frankly, we’re the world leader in infectious diseases.””

Yeah, he’s about to be right, but not in the way that he thinks. 

the pitch-black British version of The Office.

“proposed law that threatens doctors with jail time for failing to provide medical care to live-born babies following unsuccessful abortion attempts.”

Head injuries are the worst.

At what point do we finally admit this is not “fiscal responsibility” or “deficit hawkishness,” but cruelty for the sake of being cruel?

“We’re like a family.” In that, you will be talking about them in therapy for years to come.

I just can’t get over the fact that the generation that has spent the last however many years bitching incessantly and generalizing about millennials is now so incredibly butthurt over “Ok Boomer”.  I mean, c’mon. 

Locking up the pedo in their midst would be so modern though.

Man, when they’re uncrating Eric they’re really desperate. It’s like having a dingo as your spokesperson.

They DON’T know what they’re getting into because Uber and Lyft keep changing the rules.

It’s almost as if we live in a society and our society has created laws to decide what is acceptable behavior for employers. For instance, employing 12 year olds to work in coal mines? Not acceptable. Employing adults to work in coal mines and not providing them with proper safety equipment or bathroom breaks? Not…

Oh the kids definitely know where it comes from lolol 

grew up there and I had a bolo tie with turquoise on it once and I wore it a few times in the 80's but the look just never suited me. Much more Albuquerque to be in an IRON MAIDEN t-shirt

Out there, on the internet somewhere, there’s a lengthy article written by a born and raised Brooklynite talking about their neighborhood being overrun with a scourge of bloggers from New Mexico.