This is some hitchhikers guide to the galaxy level sass.

I teach 1st grade, so no.

I think we ought to take Jezebel’s betrayal of Clinton very seriously. Is this a sign that they’re going Trump? I say yes. Vox is the only safe space left for us, I fear.

I’m actually surprised by how much snark she is getting for this. I thought it was super cute. She reminded me of my mom, who happens to be a) a terrible/adorable teller of jokes and b) a total badass you would do well not to cross.

I can be supportive of someone’s efforts to learn a new language while also being frustrated by their inability to communicate clearly with a person who has paid for their services and failed to receive them, or been treated disrespectfully. I am very complicated that way.

Elite background and communist politics have been known to exist in the same person. Che Guevara comes to mind.

Elle Woods knows nothing.

Looks delicious.

I had a LOT of fun in my twenties, then had two kids so I guess this represents my vag to crazy, possibly fictitious god sandwich lady.

I don’t know.

He can’t handle the Ruth.

Might want to remind people that Scalia never hesitated to express a political opinion. So there is precedent.

Pshaw. I only use semen.

Tell yourself hi. Ask how’s it going. Ask yourself if you have binge watched OITNB yet.

Can you parent on your moon? I think I'm just going to chill in a yurt in the yard this week and howl when the children get too close.

Great, the secret is out - they were secretly originally for men so that we could stick them up our ass and have just the cleanest colons. Then women showed up, put them up their babymakers when they were all bleedy, and it’s all gone to hell since.

Related:

You were in the room during the preliminary negotiations, I assume? So you’re totally sure about how “quickly” he gave up?

Wait, seriously? You didn’t know that TPP is a negotiated multilateral trade deal and can’t be fussed to do some research on what Obama has done to regulate bank excesses since the 2007 great recession but you’re “skeptical” of Clinton because you sort of maybe heard she takes money from corporations?

Obama made a concession because something is better than nothing. You are making perfect the enemy of good.