I’m glad he didn’t include the picture where he’s fucking the pancake.

I think the best scenario is that Durant makes a fatal mistake in Game 7 to lose the Finals and then we skip ahead five years and Durant has given up and gotten fat and Green has to come to his hut and convince him to come back and help them make one last title run together. And Green will bring a raccoon to the hut.

This was one of the greatest games I’ve ever watched and the single greatest feat was pulled off by my wife. We’re watching the 3rd overtime from a small town on the coast and we’re out of beer and the only store that sells it is a quarter mile away and closes at 11. At 10:50 with the blazers down 5 with 8 or so…

Orville imitates Star Trek, often deliberately exaggerating the relationships and social issues for comedic effect, so the parody label fits.

Please settle a debate: Is Back to the Future a sci-fi movie?

There is nothing in the goddamned world like the absolute fragility of folks who occupy majority (race/ethnicity/sex/sexual orientation/religious affiliation) status feeling like they might have to share the pie they’ve previously had 99% of.

Think about this for just a moment: Every time someone screams about “SJWs,”…

“Unequivocally, this guy was the best shooter Dallas ever had.”

If only the shooter had been as accurate as Russ...

RIP, Nipsey.

In the AAF, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups. The players who were suckered into wasting months of their life, and the owners who will somehow cash out and profit on an obvious disaster. These are their stories.

This is god’s punishment. Diamondbacks were never meant to have legs.

Alright, we get it. It’s an ESPN metaphor. 

Shout out to the ref for bumping the leg as he casually stepped over Nurkic.

Too bad the pizza still tastes like ass.

The thing is, you can regain your swagger playing Chinese basketball, but you lose all your confidence again an hour later.

I was already 20 when Ichiro joined MLB and I think I’d thought I was years past the part of my life where a professional athlete could ever be the kind of immortal, larger-than-life figure that, say, Michael Jordan or Lawrence Taylor or Martina Navratilova had seemed to be when I was a kid. But Ichiro was—and in lots…

ESPN 30 for 30 presents: Three Tugs and a Cloud of Dust: The Manipulation of Robert Kraft 

Sick and tired of reading about all these rich, old guys getting off. 

Artie Moreno just dropping his wallet on the table like

I get it. There’s not much I like to do more than watching birds, if you know what I mean.

Goddamn, man. This being Deadspin, I want to make a joke...but I just can’t; nothing about child abuse is humerus.