Truly a glitch. Seattle always passes from the one-yard line.

If only there were some factual, quantifiable way to determine that Jones’ policy is both horridly racist and dipshit dumb. But that method doesn’t exi-

Nice to hear about a Carpenter succeeding with food.

So it’ll take Melo three moves to get where he wants to go. That’s a surprising level of efficiency from him.

Could the Raptors flip him?

Dwight to the Wizards.

See? This is why the Bills don’t bother winning the Super Bowl. Less jewelry to hand out. Less drama.

For all the talk about concussions in the NFL, I’m starting to think that the real victims of CTE are NBA execs. Don’t these guys know Carmelo Anthony is like the Dwight Howard of basketball?

Chef: MY MOM

I notice you didn’t mention the Lakers-Kings-level rig job the officials pulled tonight. The Rockets should have shot better but the officials were so obviously in the tank for Golden State it was laughable.

Is there some available coach out there who has a secret plan for making James less good at basketball?

put it straight into my veins

That’s an awfully slow response time by Milwaukee police.

A lot of people are attributing this to Trump-era political focus, but I think another important factor is that Fallon is a hack comedian and sycophantic interviewer, whereas Colbert is actually good at his job. That might also be part of it.

They probably liked the fact that RG3's knee isn’t even capable of bending.

I don’t care the issue, I don’t care what side of the issue you’re on. If you use the term “Fake News” as part of your argument, you out yourself as a dumb motherfucker and a lemming.

Oh man, you’re about to hear from a bunch of people who totally have black friends.

“Upon investigation into his receiving a free purple bandanna, Dubs II has been ruled ineligible to participate in football activities.” - NCAA

the PA announcer invited the fans who were already in the arena to come down to the seats in front and have “a non-alcoholic beverage and a snack, courtesy of the Sacramento Kings.”

12th man hates 13th amendment.