Why isn’t there a deadspin Orthodox Jewish following yet? Or are we call just so closeted?

I would say about Tim Lee that “I haven’t seen a man leave such a burning wake in his trail through Atlanta since Sherman,” but most of Cobb County doesn’t have access to the books to explain the joke.

Im just thankful my religion doesn’t impose silly food restrictions!!!

That sucks. Bacon gets a lot of overexposure, but it really is as good as advertised. Thanks for responding, even though you can’t explain it. I was really perplexed.

To be fair this is Cobb County. They could save a lot of money by replacing the History sections with a couple dog-eared  copies of Battle Cry of Freedom and their film libraries with Glory and 12 Years a Slave

He forgot to brand it with a hot iron that said “kosher” onto the actual meat.

For years, my wife and I were the lone Gentiles invited to a friend’s Seder. In addition to the tradition Seder items, each guest brought a dish to share. As it happened, my super power in those days was brisket. It was always a success.

A Jewish friend and I are eating at a greasy spoon in Central Illinois. The waitress lets us know how great the ham is. My buddy states that he’s Jewish and doesn’t eat pork. Her reaction: “My goodness. You don’t eat ham? What do you do for Easter?”

I dated a WASP in college and shortly thereafter. When I was invited to her house to meet the family, they proudly announced that they had cooked Italian food for me, the dago that was defiling their little princess. It was spaghetti with Ragu jar sauce. I appreciated the attempt and laughed about it for years.

Similar story: I dated a girl from Virginia Beach with a strong mega-church Christian upbringing. First time I visited her family (they were ‘sold their real estate empire in 2007 before the crash’ mega-rich and lived opposite the Norfolk naval base), they bought me challah bread because they thought it was the only…

I understand my arcane dietary restrictions better than you.

It’s like the time I was in a Japanese ramen shop and my friend ordered the vegetarian ramen. And my friend explained she was a vegetarian. But when the ramen came out, it had a giant slab of roasted pork belly on it. We asked the waitress about the giant piece of meat in the vegetarian ramen. She said, “ramen…

If Judaism were Catholicism...

What it’s not magical Judaic dust that turns stuff kosher?

Big Boy need dat burger

Should have parlayed that with the over for craps taken like I did. All queasy street from here.

Well, if you take the case to a Jury trial I think he might get 10-15 years in football jail but he may get off with nothing. On the other hand, if you offer him a plea I bet he’d take 7-9.

Yeah, they Britta’d the hell out of that ad.

I was really hoping they would go “Nothing really matters anyway! Drink Diet Coke!”

are you hidden in the circus tent Trump is wearing up there?