Congrats, you get to pay Oddibe McDowell’s water bills now, and Lennay Kekua is your new personal assistant.

The last thing LaVar Ball needs is to be around more Suns that don’t play basketball well.

Indeed - it was a performance reminiscent of another offensive minded whizkid just a couple of years ago:

ESPN figured it out when they saw the leaks came from “Adnanymous@NotMyVirkEmail.com”

What time does “What time does Super Bowl coverage stop?” start?

Or maybe call some plays, assuming that he’s healthy like you claim he is, for your all pro running back to loosen up the pass defense.

A coach who actually knew what the fuck he was doing out there would have pulled him at halftime for Tua Tagovailoa. It was really a no-brainer.

Was it? The Rams never adjusted their offense and basically just offered up the same scheme over and over again, which the Patriots simply continued to slap down. You could make that argument on the Rams side (SLIGHTLY) more but then the Patriots figured out one play that worked, ran that 4 times and the Rams just let…

There’s no good excuse for his failure, which should go down as the most humiliating performance in Super Bowl history.

He’s literally right there. The one in the middle with the Rams uniform on. You’re welcome.

Maybe if it's a tennis ball.

Whereas a rando homer signing up for a burner account just to make it clear to everyone that he’s completely missed the joke is extremely original and cool.

Very soon you will be instantly exhausted by any Saints fan mentioning the infamous blown call, but for now we can join with them in calling Roger Goodell the biggest weenie in sports.

And Jordan just retold the story the week before the Super Bowl, thus making it relevant news again. But don’t let that stop you from trying to be snide on kinja.

I vote for Alicia Silverstone. 

Oh, so THAT’S why the Browns took a QB named Brady in 2007. 

The Giants were beloved...for beating the Patriots. Other than that, they were ignored when they lost and disliked when they won.

Columbus’ food scene crushes Cleveland. 

Um... except for Columbus, have you ever been to a college town?  Why would you imagine Salt Lake City or Clearwater to be comparable?

There’s no telephone exchange in the universe capable of handling that level of calls.