“Hey Philadelphia, what are you going to do if your team loses the Super Bowl?”
“Burn down the city!”
“What are you going to do if your team WINS the Super Bowl?”

No, you need a Minnesota Vikings grill and a Star Trek grill or I will fight you.

The real enemy here is the bossman.

I don’t understand why people are acting shocked and treating this as a pivot on the practice of tipping. This isn’t anti-tipping advice, this a statement advocating WORKER SOLIDARITY.

That great “rash of clown sightings” of 2016 and the absolute freakout it created is hysterical to me. If I wasn’t so wary of armed Americans wanting to shoot anything they’re afraid of, I might have joined in on the trolling.

I remember all of those fixtures! And I kinda miss them. Like, to the point that I would buy a Lego Imagination set of a late-80s McDonald’s.

Ted Cruz is too busy propping up the King in the White House to do this.

No matter how you change the rules, it will always be about that. And I know that and they know that. These women know what a pageant is, it’s just that they know they can win. And if the entire enterprise of femininity is fucked, then why not find ways to win where you can? Why not capitalize on it and earn a little…

You should see the original:

“That night, I saw a woman placed on a throne without a kingdom while no one watched.”

If it weren’t for Miss America, we wouldn’t have this.

This article is more beautiful than its subject.

Get a load of SuperDad raising a teen, a doctor, and a professor all at the same time.

Nah. This is a performative and defensive action on Bezo’s part. He’s scared, with all of the political talk around re-distributing wealth and this is his reaction.

YOU CANNOT SECURE THE BAG BY SAYING AGREEABLE THINGS.

My mother adored an ex-something of mine (not even a boyfriend, just someone I went out with a few times), and always lamented that I broke it off.

“But he was a raging alcoholic who routinely gets black out drunk.” I told her.
“But you can fix him! I can’t believe you gave up so early! I thought I raised you better…

Exactly. Perfection isn’t a Platonic state (well technically it is, but.) It’s something you build every day and every day it’s different. A series of sand castles and each one your own little lumpy, crooked masterpiece of the day.

Just chiming in to say: kudos to your mom for being better than her own mother.

I’ve been married 10 years and the only secret to that kind of stability is that we both accepted that we’ll never be “perfect”. I don’t want to play board games every night just like he doesn’t want to binge Broadchurch every night. That said, I still enjoy his company, and when we do have one of those big problems…

I listened to my mom instead of Gottlieb, which is to say: I listened to myself.