Man he's making some really strong points here. I like how he says they aren't employees. It must be true, because he just said it. I don't need any further evidence.

Offering this acid-sweat during a marathon should be illegal. You already know everybody running the marathon has addle-brain from the fact that they're actively trying to kill themselves by running a marathon and parts of their brain (the parts that didn't shut down already when they decided this was a good idea in…

Nope, not gonna happen. Nope nope nope nope nope.

This is a legitimate decision to make from a newsworthiness standpoint. It's a judgment call to run a story like this basically every time. If you don't run a story about every domestic violence-related story in the community, why run THIS story. There's no doubt at all that the connections, as you said, warrant…

Thank you. Thank you so freaking much. The Over-excited, evidence-free James-Franco-outing fanzine over there lost major respect in my book after posting that the way they did. Give me a break. Even if you hate kids, have, like, one single ounce of compassion for that kid's poor mom. What a dick. And what a bunch of…

That's his thing too, every single person is a blind and stupid Warriors/Giants/Niners apologist. Weirdly I don't see him bashing on A's or Raiders fans as much, even though he definitely covers those teams. But then again it's been a while since I've been able to follow him, so I don't even know.

Tim Kawakami, a good reporter but also a total rabble-rousing intentional a-hole for the San Jose Mercury News, was a guy I followed for a while because I'm from San Jose but have lived out of state for years now and I like to be plugged in with the teams I still route for. He is the ULTIMATE crap-stirrer on twitter;…

Even after light googling, I have no idea to what you're referring, so I'm going to take it as a compliment. Yeah!

It's difficult to quantify, really. The not-quite-instant separation of my spirit from my body was probably the one main thing I would be able to put into words, though. That and the brief experience (remember, not-QUITE-instant) of immersing my tongue, mouth, gums, throat, esophagus and stomach lining in something I…

He's right, though. When you get paid to play football, you totally do have to make sure you don't break any laws, like... I don't know, spousal abuse, say. Otherwise it's just like he said; you totally lose your job, just like that. These college punks don't even UNDERSTAND how much they're being coddled. You wanted…

I tried it once after waking up in the middle of the night all parched and my wife had it in the fridge. I literally died. Pretty sad, for my family and stuff. Not so sad for me, because at least I was able to quickly forget the rancid taste of coconut water, thanks to my near-immediate death.

Grant Brisbee remains the best writer covering any MLB team, and he does so for SBNation. While there are plenty of totally unprofessionally run SBN sites, Brisbee is hardly alone on the other end of the spectrum. Until he left for a pay site, Kerry Crowley was the best thing going for in-depth coverage of Arizona…

Only missing if they prescribe to the Oxford comma. If they do not, they have good company, including the AP Style Guide.

THAT SAID, the AP Style Guide is TOTALLY WRONG. The Oxford comma should not be optional. However... it's hard to just say it's an error.

The lack of clarity in the construction of the sentence is confusing, but is he saying the stylus is "fake plastic" (is this a thing? Are there knock-off plastic substitutes out there now to add to our increasing dissatisfaction and lack of authenticity?) or that the plastic things are actually fake themselves? Is he…

Disappointed that this isn't addressing the REAL problem, which is players bunting away from shifts in a way that doesn't even help their team, somehow. Unless it does address this, because like anybody who actually thinks that first sentence is a thing, I probably haven't read the article yet.

We can probably agree that Ryan Tannehill's inclusion on this list is the most surprising, right? Not new, not a good team, not a good quarterback. Is there some ironic reason people are buying this jersey more than Cam Newton's, Calvin Johnson's and Andrew Luck's?

They're right though. I mean obviously one could make the argument that they could've just done something for all six of those people, including the two I think they made up (FreWHOsi?), as one cynically supposes that maybe the All-Star festivities aren't exactly chock-full of riveting,…

Can somebody confirm, is the PA guy saying "Tony Tony Wrotooten"?

Let's all take a moment and enjoy the fact that "Twitter data scientists" can now be used totally un-ironically.

Oh man, I'm embarrassed haha. You got me. I mean, in my defense, you can never be too careful with Deadspin commenters. I've sadly been trained to assume the stupidest possibility. In retrospect, this is very funny. And no, I know nothing at all.