"Apparently only you and I saw/liked UHF."

Would you prefer "Pregnant belly" or "Engorged uterus?"

Wait, how was UHF ruined retroactively? I mean Victoria Jackson turned out to be a raging Republican homophobe and Michael Richards did that N-word rant and oh, I see your point.

Fuccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. My teeth literally hurt sympathetically. Now I will not feel okay eating anything for the rest of the day.

Any excuse to bring that .gif back is a good excuse.

I really dug Dishonored, and I did play it through twice to experience both the action-packed version and the sneaky no-kill version, but I have to say that I was bummed out by being clubbed over the head morally for killing bad guys. I get the moral ambiguity of taking any life in reality, but in video games it's…

Agreed; it rides on Bs1's coattails in terms of its setting, and it doesn't have a whole lot of plot - although the *VAGUE SPOILERS!* twist near the end where a certain character changes his/her demeanor and follows you *END VAGUE SPOILERS!* was pretty amazing.

See, you need to parse your sarcasm correctly for the masses, Sarcastiball-style; por ejemplo:

I'm pretty sure I grind my fucking teeth in my sleep. Mouth guard time probably.

CONSTANTLY. If I've had a lot of caffeine or stress, I frequently have a dream where I bite down and all my teeth shatter. I'm never happier to wake up than from these.

GHAAA! Why is this so fucking terrifying???

Oooh, 'hater' in big sarcastiquotes. At least they're hep to the jive.

This simple little vestigial shoulderpad heralded the oncoming apocalypse of over-the-top superlative clothing articles sported by future Square characters, e.g. HOLY JESUS GOD:

Game is much broken English! Many is poor grammar and odd phrasings. Suspect I Russian lack due to of articles such "the" and "a," but of website not is much forthcoming in regarding nationalities.

Dammit. I'm super-curious about this, but I don't want that article name showing up in my corporate-tracked browser history (I got around this article's name by clicking the hashtag instead). Big brother is watching, but effectively just the top half-inch of my screen.

Who says you never have anything nice to say? You are pretty blunt but seem to have a good mix.

Fantastic. Your writing has that perfect mix of eloquence, wonkery, snark, and vulgarity that I've come to expect from the best of Gawker Media. George Carlin surely smiles down from Atheist Heaven, which totally exists.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down there. I took Blue's post as a tangent about the state of our prison system. I don't get the impression he or she is even remotely saying these boys don't deserve to be locked up; only that our "rehabilitation" system does not fulfill its eponymous service, on which I hope we can all agree.

Has this author, Meagan Hatcher-Mays, written for Gawker before? I don't recognize the name.

It doesn't matter, your fans will just call you ASI. Rock fans are very very lazy about multi-word names.