Meh. Right now I look at anything with a flag with side-eye. I watched Matlock every week and I’ll watch it whenever I catch it, along with other old-folks shows as Quincy (his punk-rock rant is still classic!) and Diagnosis: Murder. All I need is Jake and the Fatman to complete my old-folks/CBS collection!

So THAT was the name of the show! I remember watching it while in the throes of the worst cramps and headache ever. I took 20 ibuprofen and lay on the couch to die. When I woke up, there was Malloy!

The night it happened, I said that it was either a huge clot or a tampon. Lo and behold! A TAMPON!

Yes. Next.

Someone needed a cunt punch! I can’t even...

There’s NO WAY a penis is getting into the uterus. Not even John Holmes himself could do it.

Jeez, the Rolling Stones managed to look old even when they were young!

She’s in the loooooong line of white, blonde reporters that makes me think of a magazine cover that had nothing but white, blonde reporters on it. Most (if not all) of those reporters at least had some skill. Miss Kelly is nothing but a FOX box.

No to the first and second questions, and seeing that Miss Thing has tweeted that she doesn’t know why people are so hard on #DonnieDotard, conveniently forgetting that he was kinda rapey. So I’mma judge this bitch like I’m the second Most Powerful Jewish Woman in the World, Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Fuck her and her…

Hey, they beat The Best Fans in Baseball in...wait, they didn’t! That was KC. Carry on.

Oh, shit! I forgot all about that! I meant I believe her marriage is as real as Rock Hudson’s was. (Or 45's is...)

Damn, now I can’t spell “Bachelorette!” #ThanksTrump

Wendy, are you talking? I don’t even follow gossip that closely and know your marriage is about as real as a “Bachelorette” relationship! Sit your unable to walk in heels ass down somewhere.

So, should women have sex?

I’m even more obsessed with Watergate and the JFK assassination than usual (have been since I was a kid) and all I can think about is Mueller getting “The Putin Treatment” (assassinated), all of the evidence “disappearing” and Trump & Co. making out like bandits. If Nixon could be dumb enough to think he could get…

Because she’s fucking terrible, and I only saw whatever the hell her other NBC show was called once. I can deal with terrible, but to have her hyped as the second coming of BeyJesus and AND be nothing more than ANOTHER blonde, okay looking white woman that can’t really interview? Pass.

No, but what’s the deal with grandparents liking that nasty-ass butterscotch candy? It was either butterscotch, Starlite Mints, or those wintergreen mints that looked neat but tasted like ass. (Never purchased: the cinnamon candies that tasted like Red Hots but lasted longer.) Dammit, Grandma! I love you, but buy…

I made a special point NEVER to buy Special K because of that dumb ass diet promotion thing they had (have?) going. Sure, I could’ve had 2 free boxes, but 1. it tastes like shit, and 2. the only way you won’t be hungry afterwards is if you eat it with a side dish of speed. If you must starve yourself with their…

If you say “It stinks!” and they don’t go “Whomp, whomp, whomp!” or you yell “Hi-Keeba!” or start singing “You better run...” and they look at you with either confusion or annoyance, they may not be the person for you.

Holy crap! I remember the Willie McGee one!