Damn, she looks like a janky mermaid. The hell is with that skirt? Why choose something that doesn’t match? Just WHY?!

FINALLY! Those goddamn tacky-ass suits will make you go BLIND! You don’t have to use every color (and pattern) of the rainbow for each of your suits, Steve!

We should be praying, not wasting our time being angry! God will fix all our problems! Then we’ll be #WINNING!

Hoover looks pretty swarthy in that photo...

So it’s like the Three Stooges being in charge of Moronika until the powers-that-be got tired of them (rich guys who wanted to make $$$ because there’s no money in peace) and they get eaten by the lions at the end of the second reel? Perfect!

You too?! I don’t even bother with real vodka, I just get some UV Blue. Shit looks like Windex and is weak as water. It’ll do.

THAT’S what it is! I was going to say “low forehead” but “twohead” sounds better! Thanks!

I don’t know...I’d say raising my grandmother from the grave after 30 years would be WAAAAAY better than another season of I-Dull. 

He doesn’t need a nap, he needs someone to beat his ass. Trump’s like the kid who fucks everything up and doesn’t get his comeuppance. We either do something now, or prepare to lie back and think of England.

Anyone waiting on politicians to do more than jerk off and sound “concerned” is in for a long wait. My idea of making DC run red with the blood of politicians doesn’t seem to go over that well.

I know! Best to let the police handle this. That way, the black kid’s will receive the punishment, and everyone’s freedoms will be upheld. (Except for the black ones. But that doesn’t matter. Because black.)

Don’t worry--the police will probably get to them. Once that choke hold’s applied, problem solved!

No, it’ll probably be worse.

Amen!

The only male I can ever recall babysitting on a regular basis is my father, and that was for his nieces and nephews. Interestingly, he had waaaay more experience than my mother! But yeah, ain’t nobody going to trust a guy babysitting kids in a non-relational setting.

Yes. It is. What’s wrong with admitting that?

Ah, may you be rear-ended by an SUV and forced to pay for your own hospital care once your insurance and any savings you have run out. Then you can write to Trump and ask him to pay your medical bills!

Holy shit--this sounds like something I would’ve written back in the stone ages of 1993. I’m pretty sure someone may have actually made this joke! I could’ve gone viral in 1993! 100s of people could’ve seen it!

I can’t even with this. What person of reasonable brain ability POINTS A GODDAMN GUN AT SOMEONE?! That’s the FIRST RULE you learn. “Never point a gun at someone unless you’re going to shoot them.” I learned that at 7 when my parents bought a rifle (also, “Red means DEAD!” when it came to taking off the safety.)

Hopefully, it was in tune. I’ll be damned if most people I hear “rapping” seem to have the WORST rap style (?!) voice possible. WHY ARE YOU SO FLAT? WHY?!?!?!