Apr 8 2016

I wonder if I’ll live to see the day where the mass, organized, state-sponsored slaughter of my ancestors is finally not a joke to some people. Read more

Feb 20 2016

One time, my friend’s brother’s cousin’s neighbor’s sister’s stepdaughter’s boyfriend was walking by a park wearing a baseball cap, and the next thing you know, he was captured, forced to play short stop for six months, and then won the World Series. Read more

Feb 17 2016

If all this leads to me getting laudanum filled chocolates in my life, I'm a happy cramper.

Jan 4 2016

It’s the Canadian hordes you really have to worry about, what with their excessive politeness and their Tim Hortons.

Jan 3 2016

Don’t worry, Rocco, just wait until you’re 24 and you can lie in bed on a Sunday morning, eating three different types of cake for breakfast and resenting the fucked up relationship with food you have as a result of your mother’s crazy diet restrictions. Or something.

Dec 30 2015

Hey if you women have a nipple out then men are allowed to grab it kind of like if you’re just showing your wallet off—I mean Read more

Dec 21 2015

Let’s be honest though...having the best aim of any Stormtrooper is a pretty low bar to set. That’s like being the fastest sloth.

Dec 21 2015

It’s funny how people remember to use “Mary Sue” whenever we get a GOOD female protagonist in a story in order to criticize her, but completely and conveniently forget about “Gary Stu” on all other occasions.

Dec 21 2015

I wonder if the course should be extended to women and men? Cos internalized misogyny is a thing that affects everyone, not just men...

Dec 20 2015

What.....unlike all the rich people in the other parts of the world??? Whilst I abhor human rights violations they seem to only matter to people when the perpetrator isn’t a member of NATO.

Dec 3 2015

As my Bubby would say, and I believe this is a loose translation from the old country, “this fucking dipshit”.

Dec 3 2015

You know, just the other day someone asked who DumpTruck hadn’t offended and I was like “I think he hasn’t said anything overtly racist about the Jews?” I should have known to just wait a minute.