man, we're old. lol

I liked it the first time around when it was called Shields and Yarnell.

It's inevitable, you backward fucks. Maybe you should try to secede again to keep people from having rights you're not fond of.

I want a version of this trailer set to Don't Stop Me Now by Queen.

Who run IO9?

I get the feeling that Dan Aykroyd's tombstone is going to read, "I'm working on a new treatment for Ghostbusters 3 that'll start filming any day now."

I might use some of these for myself, like the silicone cupcake liners, and I don't have kids.

Yeah. Sorry for the drugs and the fear and the crime and the murders and the smell and the corruptions AND OUR SHITTY MAYOR, etc.

But we'll never be sorry for crab dip, Old Bay and Bergers motherfuckin' Cookies.

Dear Baltimore,

Henry Cavill (aka Superman)

I'm not interested in Valentine Neverwood's story unless she picks Erudite. Faction before blood!

Dude was awesome. 10th of 13 children. Enlisted in the Civil War, earned a battlefield commission, was wounded, recovered, and kept serving. Wrote incredibly biting satire. At age 72, decided he wasn't done adventuring and left for Mexico to participate in the Mexican Revolution. Disappeared while traveling with the…

Audie Murphy.

What? No. Miles is underneath the Spider-Man banner of film rights. His superheroic identity is "Spider-Man". The storyline exists because the Ultimate Universe sucks, Bendis was bored, and realized that a city kid who grapples with balancing everything in his life is more relatable to a person of color than to a…

"Company executives delivered the news after shitting in your kid's cereal bowl. The following week, government officials waived all fines and penalties after pissing in your coffee."

I wish someone would steal my identity, maybe they can do something with my life.

Get Creative with Paint

Where the Wild Things Are. I was more emotionally connected with the trailer than the movie itself.

Oh, this one's easy.

Sucker Punch looked OMG awesome. Alas, it OMG wasn't.