I had a high school friend who moved here from Bangladesh when he was two years old. He had no memory of his birth country, and his parents told him all his life that they were legal immigrants. He was 17 when ICE raided his house and arrested his father, who it turns out had overstayed his visa years prior. My friend…

He’s clearly not a great driver. I bet he’d get lost on an oval.

Yes you should! Trust me; I am an experienced driver.

We work hard, we pray hard.

Does this ferry go to Fire Island? Oh who CARES!!!

“We should not be teaching children, period, how to have sex.”

“A magazine should not be a girl’s first exposure to anal sex, that’s a priest’s job.”

Do you want toilet babies? Because not teaching kids about reproduction and safe sex is how you get toilet babies.

THE ARISTOCRATS!

Hey now, the New York Times could have scooped Deadspin, but the copydesk had a major blow up about whether it was double handjob, double hand-job, or double handjobs since it was more than one.

I was this close to exposing that guy until you published this article.

No shit I don’t get it. That’s why I said I don’t get it.

Found one! 166 to go.

Wow, that’s horrible.

I still love this one where the NYPD was trying to kettle Broadway Bomb skateboarders with very little luck...

JOKE EXPLANATION FOR THE YOKEL (cue “Spanish Flea”)

*stamps WHO WATCHES THIS off Commentariat Bingo Card*

Yes it was.