It’s a good thing there is no “Deadspin on Tape” or Floyd would be very upset at you guys.

I’m a Royals fan and trust me when I say that it has never crossed my mind that a team managed by Ned Yost plays the game “the right way.”

That’s even more insulting than being forced to pay for a walkout. Holy shit.

I wouldn’t be particularly thrilled if someone was going to flash me their vagina or dick, either.

Maury: Connie, did you drink that entire handle of McCormick's vodka last night?

Plus, at home you can make your big delicious breakfast while still being a little sleepy and not going through the whole nonsense of putting on shoes and waiting in line. So much more relaxing.

She is a national treasure.

IMG, I love ya, baby, but let’s not put Katie Couric up there with Edward R. Murrow.

My first impression of seeing what Magary looks like in person is thus:

You look like Tom Ley and Parker Lewis had a child. And beat it.

I never understood spouses who sit there while their SO treats people like this. If my wife ever treated someone with disrespect I'd throw down a tip and let her know I was leaving and if she wanted a ride home she'd better join me. I also know that if I were to ever be the jerk, that she'd do the exact same thing…

This is all a put on, right? Or some kind of 1994 cosplay?

As a teenager, I rubbed Dove soap on myself every morning and night, and also right before lunch and then mid-afternoon, and also right before cross-country practice, but then right after cross-country practice, and I would take a break from homework to rub Dove soap on myself, and sometimes even I had to leave in the…

Los Locos kick your ass, Los Locos kick your face, Los Locos kick your balls into outer space!

As soon as anyone passes 30, a six-pack is the misguided poisoned chalice of the fitness world.

I would just like to take credit as the person who found the dickbutt and posted it on reddit about 9 hours ago. Here is a link to the post:

I don't understand why they had your keys?

Or better yet, NEVER give them the only key you have to the car. EVER.

Also, NCAA tournament =/= college basketball.

"See, on the show, I'm a shitty person," Mayweather said, "but in real life, I'm even fucking worse."