I fart on your happiness.

ISSUES!

My wife was reluctant to kiss me within the first month of dating- I am more of a second-third date kind-of-guy. Everybody is different.

I am pretty easy going myself

Belizian is perfectly OK though.

MMMmmmm... THIS one will breed me good rugrats. Good bone structure, strong legs, good birthing hips.

MURICUH. Deal with it, bitch.

Wooderson is my spirit animal, you take that back RIGHT NAOW.

This is the end-all fever dream version of this scenario. The reality is probably closer to Honey Boo Boo.

I caught that too.

But, she has boobs and a killer butt, man.

If you have bank stubs proving you made payments you can absolutely sue him and recoup some of that money. Have you officially handed over accounts of all money owed to you by severing your house contract? If not, you will want to- certified mail of course.

The lawyer scum that insisted the paralegal in his interview was eye-fucking him.

You forgot the 'People are incredibly stupid' disclaimer in there.

9.) When You Envy Car Owners Around You

DOH!

Beat me to it!

No, we all don't. Speak for yourself, chucklehead.

Thanks Poindexter. You must be alone in a corner at parties.

DUDE!! I am a HARDCORE FAN!!! I went to one other game BESIDES opening day and TWO Buck nights in a row when they sucked!!!