Unbelievable, I had no idea Matt Buchanan was a child. It's cool to see Gizmodo thinking outside of the box and hiring toddlers to write some stories, but this would be the downside to that. A child lacks logical thinking, foresight, and an open mind. All of which Matt shows in this article. Listen, Giz, put Matt…

@hostile-17: Awesome, just what the world needs, more people like you filled with cynicism. I am not a man of faith, but if Ted believes his two years of sobriety is the work of a higher being, so be it. And he's where he's at because of HIS choices, not God's.

Wow, it makes me wanna start a radio station just to hire this guy.

I love the condescending tone of the article title. Really sets the mood for Microsoft bashing.

Happy New Year, from the Midwest.

So, there won't be any way for future civilizations to re-animate us using the preserved blood from mosquitoes that bit us and then landed on a tree branch and got stuck in the sap and scientists could have used certain amphibian DNA to fill in the missing genome caps, is that what I'm hearing? I can't go along with…

I think Tron would have been better if it would have paid homage to the 70s and had more big, hairy pussy.

They're pretty good apps too. Anyone with a WP7 device needs to download Swipy Man though. It's free and the most addictive game ever. And no I am in no way affiliated with them. I'm just a fan.

@AgentRockstar: You have been digitally knighted, AgentRockStar.

@Bassman22: Good call, I forgot about that dick.

Gimme 5 minutes alone in a room with no windows with this guy and the two dicks who said the Velociraptor and T-Rex were herbivores. I'll go old school Charles Bronson on their asses.

@Stoodo: He wouldn't need to rob if he had an Android phone. Those things aren't overpriced.

@4L86: Nope, it was a typo on my part. When I wrote that comment I was sitting with my four-year-old, watching the cartoon Chowder. There's a character named Gazpacho, it was on my mind. Good find though.

Ahhhh fuck, the dickheads at TSA are already trying to get their hands on this thing. Now there's zero chance of hiding your junk from the TSA Gazpacho.

@truthtellah: Wow, brilliant Photoshop skills. It's hilarous and extremely impressive.

@Dish: I know it's a fine line, but the townsfolk only get their pitchforks and lynching rope if you insult the iPhone directly. I found a small loophole.

@Echo64: These manufacturers need to all get together and come up with a solution. As fast as smartphones are evolving, this battery issue is going to stagnant its progression.