@FragRev: He should already know that.

@budboyy2k: Curious about what exactly?

@Alleris: I know, and it was only community college.

He doesn't close his eyes when he kisses. That's a sign of untrustworthiness.

If I wanted balls on my face when I woke up I would have stayed in college.

@Jules Winfield: On what? My pants getting shorter or my robotic vagina wife?

@ittekimasu: You could say that.

@LindsayJoy's MBP is into S+M: If a baby's posterior they'll put the mother on all fours to try and rotate the baby.

Hey - wait a minute. Go to 0:41 of the video and tell me that dude on the left is doing what I think he's doing.

Alright, the article title clearly states that it's NSFW, so I'm gonna go ahead and say it, my pants got a little shorter from that. I know that's more information than anyone here wanted to know, BUT, it's important for other people who are feeling the same thing as me to know that it's okay. I think it was the…

@monstermax: I remember that, still freakin' hilarious.

Oh god, I almost pissed my pants when that kid threw the baseball at the dude's head. Shit, will that ever NOT be funny?

@Maave: Love it.

So, will eating these, twice a day, make me immortal? Or should I keep searching the woods of Oregon for my immortal beloved?

I just sent ole Reed a strongly worded email. Telling him if he didn't knock off his bullshit that I was gonna sell my stocks and cancel my service. An official apology should be issued tomorrow. You're welcome, Americans.

If it's gonna resemble a mobile home trailer, it should at least function like one.

If it's gonna resemble a mobile home trailer, it should at least function like one.

@lwjoestar: Scientists? Or some rogue, lone scientist? If you're going to try and debunk an entire, researched article, at least have the decency to provide some sources or credits.

"Moon"..."Twilight"...It's become clear to me after reading these subtle references in the article's title that Gizmodo is Team Jacob. It's okay, Jesus, you're amongst friends.

Mario's lungs look black. Must be from all that PCP laced weed he's smoked for the last 25 years. How else would he explain living in a world with magic mushrooms that make him grow taller, flying chicken/turtle hybrids and flowers that, when consumed, allow him to shoot fireballs.