Yes, articles about new food products generating all kinds of consumer excitement must be a plant.  Slow day at Fox? 

The Beyond Burger is consistently excellent.  No veggie burger anywhere grills as good as it does, it’s an absolute joy to cook.

They charge more, which is absurd, until you stop to consider how much the US government subsidizes meat. We’re not just killed the planet with factory farming, we’re making it more affordable for people to do so.

Carl’s Jr. Beyond Star is the single best fast food burger I’ve eaten, ever.  Kicks the Impossible Burger’s dick in the dirt.

Though Beyond needs to up their production output.  Here in Frisco I couldn’t find one anywhere for the holiday weekend.

Whereas I am fucking obsessed with that Beyond Burger flavor.  I’ll come in my house a few hours after cooking one and just swoon.

Well, there are a huge percentage of vegetarians who grew up m\eating eat, then made the decision to be vegetarian, but still have nostalgia for that kid burger. In that regard, the burgers are a dream (though, I agreed with you, the Impossible Burger has a slimy, greasy vibe to it that’s off-putting).

100% agreed.  The Impossible Burger almost has a flavor of stale grease to it, like it’s been cooked on an unclean griddle.  The Beyond burger is sheer perfection--as you said, the only thing that holds me back is the price.  I usually hide the second one from myself so I don’t eat them both on the same night.

Because wet cat food is different from ground beef?  They’re both processed dead animal flesh, they’re nearly identical. 

Right, but no body with a mom had to die to make it, and you can pat yourself on the back from not helping to further climate annihilation. 

“You already don’t eat meat and you are likely not going to eat this or any other item like this very often.”

That’s silly.  A Boca burger is a hockey puck without much fat.  The Beyond burger is thick, filled with fat, has a delicious texture and serves as a hearty meal.  To say the two are “just another veggie burger” is to overlook reality, irrespective of whether they taste like meat.

Wrong.  It can impact my tastebuds.  I’m all for other people choosing to save the planet by going vegetarian--it’s an absolute must--but I’m not buying dinner based on what other people are doing.  I’m a vegetarian, my kids are vegetarian, and we want the best veggie burger.

Two metrics you left off your list: TESTED ON ANIMALS and THE PRODUCT OF GENETIC ENGINEERING. Impossible fails both.

Dowd, I can say without  hesitation that your coverage of this year’s Cannes was the best I read, anywhere, both in terms of critical analysis and color commentary. Thank you.

Sure, Twitter, these Anti-Trump guys are banned for life, but X billion pro-Trump Russian bots are operating unimpeded.  Got it.

I’d like to get that album, but I have kids--there’s not a second of it that’s filthy.  I mean, if they put out a clean version, it’d just be the music.

That’s amazing, because Cobra is already a seriously hardcore film.

Jesus christ, if eating food that’s been out for a few hours was enough to kill you, everyone that went to college would be dead.  I mean, morning-after pizza, morning-after Chinese--who the fuck’s scared of hours old food?

Any mention of Ratner makes me immediately think of the story where a young actress came to Ratner’s house, where he was out back barbecuing in his robe.  When she approached, he opened his robe and started wanking his pathetic dong with a barbecue and grease covered hand.