Why wear suits 2 sizes too big or ties 4 inches too long? The man didn’t even know how to properly wear a waistcoat when he met the Queen. The oversized suits “make him look slimmer” and the ties “taller.” I’m sure he believes the orange makes him look healthier. There is literally no rationale to this man’s behavior.…

I assure you, Lord Vader, my man is working as fast as he can

But will it be completed on schedule?

Here’s an exclusive preview of the last panel from Marvel’s next big massive cross-over event:

“and when Disney calls to borrow a cup of sugar”

Sadly, every ship’s mate has sailed.

Sorry.

Can any adult justify a $600 toy purchase ever?

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - Unless one of the teams or athletes involved in the competition is wearing kit that says “USA”, the anthem has *no* place at sporting events.

I was walking to my seat at Camden Yards, hat on, toddler and diaper bag in hands and the anthem started playing. Before I could let out a groan, this old Fox News patriot hag immediately smacked me on the back of the head and told me how offended she was that I wouldn’t remove my hat. She then proceeded to tell me…

They’ve been usurped by feral hogs, between 30-50 of them.

If we HAVE to stand for a specific song, and HAVE to put our hands on our hearts or risk getting jacked are we really free?

it would absolutely whip ass if this guy was eaten alive by a bear or something

Getting slammed head first into the ground does less brain damage than regularly watching FOX news 

A GTI will be a little slower than an R but much of that is due to the added weight of $15,000 still in the drivers pocket.

They did cancel them, the workers went back to putting the notch at a completely random point on the dipstick.

BL didn’t need dipsticks at all.  If it ever stopped leaking, you needed to add oil.

Plus, they’ll never assume it was sabotaged. They’ll just assume it broke becuase it was French. Although that does kind of make the sabotage redundant.