What's sad is that this is a real conversation that actually happened.

Now you need to scroll down and slowly, calmly take the commenter who thought this piece was not sarcastic by the hand and walk them away from the bone-shaving lab.

What's really embarrassing is when you defriend your immediate family and then make up and friend them back but you/they accept at some weird hour and it's up there for half a day, like Bleach and her sister are now friends! Hah! Clearly some Bleach-fighting going on!

Wait wait wait. I have conclusively decided what category this meanness about breastfeeding is going to go under — BODYSNARKING! She'll feed her kid with her body as long as it's going good, and you can just go start whispering mean things about Meryl Streep being shapeless in a corner somewhere!

I'm glad you posted this, my first question was: AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED?!

Er, where am I defining placebo? By liking my chiropractor?

It may have been that my regular doctor was wrong somehow...they told me it was viral, not bacterial. I was on three rounds of antibiotics and (literally) nearly died. I ended up on some kind of terrible breathing suppressant thing so I didn't cough myself to death. It was a really bad time for me. I was just…

I think what you believe in can really help your treatment be a success. When people feel very uncomfortable with alopathic medicine I don't think it helps them as much.

Whoa, I resent grape juice and gin receiving a D+. That's my drink, man!

Well, to be fair, Bill kept more than a few things from Hillary over the years.

We all know what to do here: we're Photoshopping YOU, Julia Bluhm!

Aw, I (would like to) think Khloe meant you put your husband before your family-spawned-reality-television show, which is a very specific situation. Not yourself or your livelihood.

I was brought up by a stay-at-home mom who taught me a lot about cleaning. I think it's so funny that people argue so adamantly that it's a personal choice issue. It really can be a learned behavior. Best/most efficient/most hygienic practices aren't always apparent, and this can be really stressful! I know this…

Sheesh, next you're going to tell me that The Simple Life was formed based on nepotism and not on the nubile acting skills of Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie.

Thank you sooooo much that was a good one to turn to. Although he really could have afforded to go more specific in women's poops than there, not there, or silent. ;P

I love, love Tracy's writing and this column, but after a loooong day at the infertility clinic and a big grapefruit & vodka this just kind of makes me cry.

Hahahah you guys are great. I stand corrected. Even on TV, people usually have jobs.

Phoebe's "job" was to sing at a coffee shop. It's really not that different than writing a memoir or being an unpaid editorial intern. The only thing that really differed was the level of satire indicated by the laugh track.

I think it's so funny how people are obsessed with these characters' not-job-having. TV characters only have jobs when the show is about them! Judging Amy had a job, Two Broke Girls have jobs. The Friends only had jobs when it helped the storyline, but mostly they hung out.

Tee-hee, "falling pregnant"? Get me my smelling salts!