Kirstie Alley has about 10 times the poise and humor that George Lopez does. Wayyyy to be the chubby fifth-grade boy making fun of the chubby fifth-grade girl, lame-o.

1. If my boyfriend ever asked me to try new sex things "on paper" I would not respond. That's what shots of jager and sexy eyes are for.

Yessssssss. Asshole.

Lying.

"I often bring these issues up at the dinner table because I want my son to know where I stand." Yes, Dad. I know that's why you do that. It's also why I lost 15 lbs. upon entering puberty—DINNER WAS TOO AWFUL FOR ME TO EAT.

A weird thing is that my boss and I are similar in weight, height, and proportions but she takes our shape into loose, classically-styled size 12 items and I am more comfortable in dark, sharp, size 6-8 items (which do, occasionally, leave me awkwardly criss-crossed with red marks or photograph a little on the What…

;)

I hate Jezebel.

Sorry, but the only person I am familiar with here is Alicia Keys.

I don't understand how this is a prom dress — where is the tulle underskirt?

thanks man!

Every time a little sound bite about Natalie comes on and someone says "she lost 20 lbs for Black Swan!" (down from what? 100?) and then "her shocking pregnancy with coereagrapher!!" I am like ohhhh, Natalieeee....that weight-loss/no pregnancy thing? It's a myth, girlfriend!

Dr. Phil is not a real doctor?

@Ivriniel: Not necessarily! What if you're two months in, you're doing your thing, and you just wanna bang? You aren't gonna start that off with "try not to smush my fetus, please."

Not typically the facial expression I'd expect my husband to make when convincing a series of photographers "everything's all right."

Right? I made one foray into post-teen drug use with this very substance and the next day I couldn't even sign for a FedEx and I told my boyfriend I wanted to "quit at life."

I wouldn't really chide Guinness for over-sharing on the topic of BH, the article says she only copped to being "friends" and the reporter expresses frustration at her closed mouth on the topic...

Does this mean....she's leaving us?

I like how the new layout has invented a hybrid person. I'm glad to hear from Sadie Stein-Hayden Panettiere. I bet she likes fashions for shorter people and hates being asked about her days as a cheerleader.

Haha my brain just got confused that Tia Mowry is only having one baby and not a pair. Second glass of wine, I think we should chat.