I work in publishing, and my degree is in creative writing; a field I explored from all angles before moving into publishing.

Ah, I was wondering why they "ended" their "marriage." My money was on a perfume line, though. Guess I gave Heidi too much outside-the-box credit.

I like lawyers who add asterisks for emphasis and from my iPad email sigs.

This isn't Pot Psychology.

@beatrixkiddo: See, I always secretly suspect Paul Rudd is either gay or going to sleep with my sister. I always pick Owen Wilson because he makes me laugh, and then I'm always confounded because he ends up taking ecstasy pills on Tuesday afternoons and breaking my dishes.

Albameister, are those transition lenses you're sporting???

@lilyHaze: I used to think I wanted a boyfriend who would go to plays and indie movies with me and enjoy them. Eight years later, I've found (quite like my grandmother, actually) I prefer a boyfriend who encourages me to go to things like that alone, and is interested in whether I liked them or not, whether I made…

I went to a play last weekend solo and was the only person under 65 (and ostensibly, who wasn't worth at least $1m). Overheard from the manfriends in front of me: "My kid's friends keep getting married to people they meet on the Internet—and divorcing them a year later—and they want gifts! Here's my new gift: use…

James van Der Beek is now a rapper named Souleye?

In a shocking recent survey, it was revealed that in the UK alone, 63% of women and 75% of men hadn't gotten over a long-unresolved feeling that their dads sooooooo did not deserve to get yelled at for not taking out the trash and "being a mom" while working nights at the JC Penney call center was wayyyyy easier than…

@Forris: ::Gasps, hides overdue Hampshire College student loan bills, and timidly returns to work::

@SarahMC: Is The Onion truly satire? A satire of a newspaper, I guess? It seems to me like it's sort of jumped ship on satire and become more of a "jokes page."

I totes wanted those dress oxfords "in new or like new condition" but they are only available in size 6 super-wide or 11.

@Forris: You are making me actually nervous that you are actually my father.

My entire post-eighth-grade summer was Undressed, mIRC, and scrambled porn.

@SarahMC: Google satire, note the third result. The public's confusion with the term continues...

@Forris: I know, Dad, I know. And I'm sorry Newsweek has been in the toilet lately so you've had to go out to lengthier publications for your helpful links on life...

I saved a negative test in my underwear drawer for a couple of months to remind myself not to panic and to always, always use condoms in the future. WHERE WAS MY KEEPSAKE POUCH, EPT? Who wants to help ME celebrate my joy at the test's findings??

re: pointy flats — not with boxy cuffed pants!!! tall ladies can streamline that out, us shorties need a skinny pant to pull that off.

The image paired with this article is confusing me. Is that man a white supremacist or a queer supporter?