Gimme my five-speed any day over that alien.

he tried to steal a Honda Civic and failed, again, because he couldn’t figure out its manual transmission.

my spouse also has the newest GTI; I have been waiting on this GLI reveal for a while and desperately want it.

my spouse also has the newest GTI; I have been waiting on this GLI reveal for a while and desperately want it.

Did you just victim blame a highway?

Jalopnik should have a feature where David drives and reviews ONLY appalling shitboxes. With his obsession with rusted out piles of Jeep and his love of taking things apart, we could call it The Automasochist.

Oh, I shredded some gnar:

It’s pretty damn fucking fun. Imagine a car the size of a BRZ, then imagine it with AWD, double the horsepower, and triple the torque (after bolt-ons). On what planet could that not be a hoot?

Thanks for the update. 

Cool. 

It’s newsworthy when a major OEM dumps a population of a small city out in the street?

Now they need to offer the manuals with the premium engines. They can charge more money. Why wouldn’t they?

Because they have pretty much zero plan and they love doing change for change’s sake, rather than providing an actual improved app. It’s just a bunch of bros doing coke and randomly coding garbage.

OMG!! Won’t somebody think of the children!!! Screw the people who can’t pay their rent/mortgage, utility bills, etc, and are trying to make a shit situation a little less shitty. My fragile kids are what matters, not them.

I find the idea that a Jalopnik commentor being a good parent highly suspect

Your children are most likely exposed to profanity around their friends. 

Ford/Honda/Toyota - “Uh, no.”

Here’s the thing about hearses: they are typically built on what is called a commercial chassis, which is made up of the engine and drive train, the front body work and interior up to the front doors, a longer-than-stock frame, and heavy-duty brakes in anticipation of the additional weight. Everything else is put on…

What on earth was the point of this article? The entire internet is full of people writing articles and a bunch of other people shouting in agreement right below them. It’s happening in this comment section too!