well i mean i paid to see bears, and they provided me with zero bears

Exhibit A

Maybe tell your sister, “Sorry, I’m just not that into you”?

New Study Shows: No One Likes a Person Who’s Too Hard to Read

BYOB?

I’m pretty sure since you love your sister, you’re ALREADY married to her.

welp now you’re all married together sorry bro

Leave it to a dude from Indiana to not understand the difference between loving your sibling and loving your partner. And I say this as someone from Indiana.

I think you’re supposed to ask her to marry you.

My sister is coming to my same-sex wedding. WHAT DO I TELL HER?!?

The first time I took a long flight I started drinking on the plane. I was about 3 bottles of wine deep when the sweet old lady fell asleep next to me. She proceeded to rip the loudest farts I have heard outside of a movie. Like I was waiting for the hidden cameras. I start laughing like a 12 year old. Im trying…

Quirrell did it better.

The boys in Rickets are TERRIBLE dancers.

As a formerly clumsy kid and a currently clumsy adult, I’m just over here like

May The Force Abide

The Centre Georges Pompidou!

Yep. I’ve been to Paris twice. The first time I tried to do the super important touristy things and hated it. The second time I spent most of my time drunk by a fountain, eating sandwiches from the convenience store, and watching Supernatural in my hotel room. It was perfect and I loved every second of it.

i’m crying at work, this is the greatest picture ever.

His eternal weepy face is too hard to capture