This is the best comment ever posted anywhere in any century. I don’t know who you are, tinyblueowl, but you’re a demigod to me.

That’s pretty and gruesome at the same time, nice job!

That’s kind of genius in its silliness though. Also, its design is rad.

That silicone stuff cannot possibly make anything good. Willing to fisticuffs.

Boooooooo to breadmakers.

That’s legit, it’s pretty.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. The principal has been humiliated, attacked by dogs, and defeated by his teenage nemesis. To add insult to injury (and insult), he has to hitch a ride with the school bus. This girl says something like ‘Wanna gummy bear? It’s been in my pocket. They’re real warm and soft.’

Fecal Coffin, just wow.

To be fair, Raisinets are pretty good. But your story was better.

Jezebel. Not shocked.

I know.

Nothing else really works.

Stars for making me laugh out loud, like any time anyone anywhere ever says ‘Asking for a friend.’ Low standards, that’s me.

The world needs Bonnie Prince Billy to make lots more music.

Regardless of any of the serious stuff discussed here, I’m curious about when Emma Thompson turned in Meredith Baxter-Birney and what kind of occult arts were involved.

It’s stories like this that make the internet worth having.

Yesterday I was having drinks with a friend, and he said ‘You know which author I really love? Jonathan Franzen!’

Your post is poetic.

I sure do hear you.

If I see a new movie at all, it’s not so thought-out that I pick according to which actress is in it. It’s more like “Wait, we have a babysitter?! What’s playing? Who cares, let’s go!”