On the one hand, there’s that. But on the other, my first reaction was like ‘Oh, good, a relatively *sane* celebrident!’

Maybe some people do have assessories.

Pressed out, ex-pressed.

Scantrons, what a memory. I’m laughing out loud.

Ties are torture devices, they should be banned unless on 70s/80s punk and new wave band members.

Zombie Ann Landers thinks it isn’t worth stressing about.

I was in Boca Raton, which has streets and everything, and their best food was gross chain places. Also, every place to eat is by definition next to a nail salon.

No, green is apple. And what color would you say the clear gummy bears are? I don’t even know what flavor they’re supposed to be, but I would eat a whole bag of just the clear ones.

I love you, e.e. cummings.

That’s impossible. Jennifer Lawrence can do no wrong.

And what about Gummy Bears? Both the green and the clear (?) ones are superior to red.

For realz. If I had that, I can tell you I wouldn’t be snacking on cashews right now.

Divine?

Actually, if a person writes or speaks the word ‘smash’ more than 113 times in their lifetime, they die an excruciating death.

A moderate opinion, oh noes!

Valerie Bertinelli!

whoa

I don’t share the sentiment, but it couldn’t be funnier.

Legit TERRIFYING.

I thought that said ‘James Franco’ and literally did a double take in front of my computer.