BOTOX. DO THE PELVIC FLOOR BOTOX. The idea is that you stop the pain cycles in their tracks by forcing the muscles to relax, and then slowly build up muscle tone sans spasms. I did pelvic floor PT for over a year, and it was shit compared to the Botox (which my PT naysayed before I got it, but she wasn’t living with…

I really really appreciated this piece, but dyspareunia can have undiagnosed physiological origins too! Health issues that affect women—especially ones involving pain—are seriously underfunded and underresearched! I’ve experienced severe pelvic floor trauma and dyspareunia for years due to endometriosis in a way my…

Her husband’s part in this was missing from the whole piece, and also missing from his comments here. He chimed in to say he’d always told her she didn’t owe him satisfaction, which is still distancing and keeps the issue in her court.

I HAVE THIS! Although I have been sexually active since I was 16, it was always painful. Oftentimes excruciatingly so. And sometimes of course, it just didn’t work. I told my (female) gyno about this, and she told me it was normal to be tight and that pushing a baby out would help. (SHE LITERALLY SAID THAT.) I felt…

Yeah, I was surprised that she never got advice or direction for what her husband can do to help. I have a history of painful sex (although I can’t say my condition is the same as hers) and letting your partner know what works and what doesn’t is really important. She described her partner as “ramming” her, and since…

I also recommend the book Ending Female Pain by Isa Herrera. The exercises in it have helped me.

Thanks to you and Jez for these types of articles. We don’t spend enough time as women talking about these very real and surprisingly prevalent vulvovaginal conditions. It is really hard to make peace with something that affects your private parts and sex life and feels shameful because we treat it like a dirty…

I agree. I have vaginismus and it sucks. And people can be super jerky the way they respond to these types of issues. Like you are just dumb and doing it all wrong.

A couple of good books on sexual pain came out in 2011. I would do some reading before seeing a specialist to make sure you know what questions to ask, and what information to have ready. A lot of gynos are fairly uninformed about this stuff, too.

Ugh. I know that I have this or something like it. (I tried having sex once in college, and although my boyfriend was very nice about it, it didn’t happen. My gyno had to laughing gas me to put a tampon in the first time, also in college, though thankfully I never had trouble using tampons after this. Getting a…

I have the same problem. I did pelvic floor PT for about 8 weeks this time last year and it helped—but now I’m kinda back where I started. Sometimes it just seems like it’s so much work that it’s not even worth it.

I know the feeling that she is talking about. I was violently attacked in my own home and I remember thinking how dumb I was not to have a weapon in my house, how naive I was to instantly trust the man I had been dating. It took me years to be able to sleep through the night again. And even more years to realize that…

“This incident is making her question everything. How she dresses, what she does.”

Yes, but with coconut Mormon filling.

This left me feeling gross. She’s a kid for fucks sake. She shouldn’t be saving her family from bankruptcy.

Nah, the best part is when the Italian lawyer derisively speaks of the American media trying to teach him law, and says that in 1308, there was a law school in Italy, while in 1308, in America, people were drawing bisons on cave walls.

Isn’t Coca Rocha the hazelnut pseudo-truffle that comes in the gold & white foil and thinks its all fancy but is sold next to Butterfinger in the checkout line?

I worked at a McDonald’s for three years (omg how) as a teen and one Halloween, I dressed as something or other, I don’t remember, but the point is, my adult male older-brunette-version-of-Lance-Bass-looking manager told me I had “soccer thighs” which ? but also, ick. Another male manager also flirted with my teenage…

Nope. Didn’t turn it on just when vacuum cleaner fishing with it.

The ultimate in lazy comes to us via my sister. We had that nice thick carpet that the vacuum would leave marks in- so if there was nothing huge on the floor she would sit on the couch, shove the vac out as far as she could, reel it in with the cord and then shove it out there again. Mom would see the wheel marks and…