Isn’t it legal to open carry rocks in Texas?

“Disagree!”

I’ve been shattered by the party culture and risk taking behavior that I briefly experienced in my four months at school.

These things force me to never want to put myself in a position where I have to sacrifice everything.

He figured an A&M guy using UT’s county location as an alias would throw investigators of the scent.

nonono the Range Rover needed a clutch

Went in face first, blindly fumbled around for a bit, and came out drenched yet happy.

Well, see, it’s good I’m not one of your friends!

That’s one of my favorite JFK speeches.

“A burrito is a sleeping bag for ground beef.” - Mitch Hedberg

most underrated comment ever.

Sadly, animal heaven is just a zoo in human heaven.

The thing is, they didn’t even HAVE to listen to women. There were two men that saved her, chased him off, and acted as eyewitnesses to his crime, but his welfare is still prioritized before hers. And arguably, before the welfare of his next potential victim.

Man Teens Yeungling Prison, Yells Buggy Drawn

As a fun* way to pass the time this Friday afternoon, you can try to rearrange the words of this headline into something that makes a little more sense. I came up with:

You can pry my dick punches from my COLD. DEAD. HANDS.

Well, you can’t go wrong with a mascot named “Dinger” that has a purple head.

I only ever made children.

I assume a Browns jersey comes out.