Andy Reid also banned hoverboards last week, saying he felt they caused his team to move too quickly for his taste.

But he doesn’t need to do shit, and he’s not going to. Why would he?

Bet they wouldn't try that shit if it was a slice of pizza

Doesn't he know that only Deadspin writers/commenters are allowed to complain about the media?

What if instead of paying Jon Chait to write, we offer him a scholarship to a university. He can only write for that university’s paper. He cannot do any free lance writing or work anywhere else.

He's gonna need a ton of time before the season starts to get the smell of spaghetti-o's and urine out of the Head Coach's office.

Pen names aside, Drew’s writing has really improved.

Not since Chris Kluwe’s last article on Deadspin has a Vikings kicker received such badly spelled feedback.

Comparing women to NFL owners is the worst form of misogyny.

It’s honestly gotten to the point where I’m happy when any team has to pay dead money to a player just because I know it must annoy the rich white owner.

Hey, remember when St. Louis threw a bunch of public money at the NFL to steal a team with an established fanbase back in the mid-’90s, and they were the bad guys? Karma’s a bitch, and James Busch Orthwein can finish that bag of dicks Bob Kraft gave him in ‘94. St. Louis had to settle for the Rams, and you live by the…

Eh, now we know why Simulord’s ex left him.

True or not, the notion that Kobe has a theory on passing the ball, of all things, is humorous to me.

This goes beyond the Texans. The 4-team division setup puts teams in the playoffs that don’t belong. Either make the divisions stronger (perhaps with more frequent realignment), or don’t guarantee the #4 seed a home playoff game. Or even a playoff spot at all. But no, the NFL insists on packaging turds like…

What? He listed three players. If we assume he was in fact referring to Hopkins, Watt, & Foster. Mayyyybe Clowney, but, no....

But at least he’s not a rapist like certain steel city QBs

Free advice: If your name is “Gay”, you might not want to dance like that in the end zone.

I wonder who gave Marshawn the stand down order - Dick Cheney or the Jews?

You always want your son to do something special with his life. I would have made him Isaac Newton so he would be the first notable person with that name to ever get laid.

But if you want someone who can critique sloppy insanity, an ECW hardcore guy is exactly the kind of person you want.