Pick an animal. Human!
Have him lose something. His head!
Wait, that book already exists, and it's the greatest.
http://curiouspages.blogspo…

Hey, look at this! Did you know wolverines staved off a Soviet invasion?

Jesus, looks like someone at the nuthouse guessed the wifi password.

Phew! In the back of my mind, I wondered if this was a Robin Williams or a David Carradine, but thought it was too soon to ask. But if someone else asks…

The sax solo in Baker Street gets all the attention, but the guitar solo at the end is pretty great, too.

My only complaint is the soundtrack version ditched some of the orchestra and horns, which is only a complaint because I bought it (reasonably) thinking it would be the same as the James Bond-y version from the opening credits.

They wouldn't reveal the combination to the air shield, so Dr. Schlotkins gave Sophia back…her old nose!

That's what's holding up Stop or my Mom will Shoot Trouble.

The "mystery men" have to be the Golden Girls' neighbor Dr. Harry Weston, and his neighbor Charley Dietz, right?

It seems people didn't like "You Know my Name" as much as I did, but damn it that was a great Bond song. But holy hell that Jack White one was awful, and I like pretty much anything Jack White does.

We can assume he's out back smoking marijuana cigarettes.

Not the whole internet. Just pictures of Jason Segel.

Damn, I wish I could say I intentionally set that up.

Chad Kroeger is actually a big "Avril is dead" truther. He tells everyone he meets "Look at this PHOTOGRAPH!"

If it makes him feel any better, it will be accurate eventually.

Ok, I'll watch a video about Fidget Spinners. SEVEN MINUTES? AWWWW…

My mom has Starz, and I have her email and password, so I have Starz Play on my 360. Or I did until it mysteriously disappeared last week. That's how I watched the first episode and all of Ash vs the Evil Dead. Amazon Prime has Starz as a channel option, which I guess is what I'll do. And now you all can rest easy…

I'll bet he doesn't like getting stopped in the hallway because he's tired of the dissappointed looks he gets when people realize it's just Steve Harvey and not Gordon from Sesame Street.

There is that one goon stranded on an island that doesn't know Ebert's dead.

If Milo Yanalopolopolsis can be a misogynist and Sherriff Clarke can be a white supremacist, than by gum, an immigrant whose name you can't even spell correctly without using the Control and Option keys can be a Trump supporter. Because nothing makes sense anymore.