It'll probably come in a bag like their weird milk.

Get me Harrison Ford!
He's unavailable.
Then get me his non-union Cuban equivalent!

I am the Generation Strider, seamlessly weaving between the worlds of skinny jeans wearing Uber protesters and parents of teenagers who need to stay away from those skinny jeans wearing Uber protesters.

Holy shit, remember Baby Jessica?

Hey, we got to see the Challenger explode and the OJ verdict live in class. Hmm, maybe "got to" isn't the best choice of words.

Whoa, whoa…in English, Ultra Glow.

Those of us born around 79-80, what the hell are we? We're younger than Gen X, but older than Millennials, at least according to the way those groups are presented to us. And depending on who you ask, there's an overlap there where one ends and the other begins so maybe we're neither, or both?

Hey, Brad's wife has a name! I mean, she must, right?

I'm really looking forward to Crazy Protractor Face. He has a damn protractor for a face. Won't you please give him some candy?

No, no, they look like Newman in a Hawaiian shirt.

Damn it, we can't make out a face! Hold on, let me try something. Enhance. Enhance. Enhance. Enhance.

This is all well and good, but where is the obituary for Boston's Sib Hashian and his exquisite afro? Dwayne Johnson called him his "second dad." That's a movie I'd watch.

How about Babarbie, French King of the Elephants who lives in a dream house?

Baby steals Pope's hat, Pope laughs.
Baby cries at Trump rally, Trump says "Get that baby out a here."
Sad!

It's like being on the the Titanic and saying "Sure, the ship is sinking, but this band is amazing"

Surely you're aware Jaleel White was the voice of Sonic in not one, but two Sonic the Hedgehog animated series that ran concurrently in 1993?

That's Jaleel "Sonic the Hedgehog" White now, thankyouverymuch.

Night of the Lepus was based on an Australian science fiction novel called "The Year of the Angry Rabbit" The producers changed the title; trying to hide the fact that it's a movie about giant killer…adorable bunnies. Likewise, Teammate: My Life in Baseball is an attempt to keep audiences from releasing they're…

Here's a fun trick you kids can try at home! Look at that image while listening to the coda of Layla. You can almost see his giant sweaty head collapse into his plate of fettuccine alfredo, right?

It's like your unraveling a big cable-knit sweater that someone keeps knitting, ah-and knitting, ah-and knitting, ah-and knitting, ah-and knitting…