Well I did trade in my Chevy for a Cadillacacacac.

I'm skinny, but it's related to having Marfan Syndrome, so can't really do anything about it and I could die at any time for like, no reason. But so could anyone else, really.

Here, maybe captions would help:

Yeah, I mentioned that further up. Or down. However the hell Disqus works.

You mean The Freedoms. Am I Americaning right?

Like a bird…that's also a man!

Yeah, I mean people were pissed at Paula Deen when she dressed her son up in that oedipal brownface getup, but as far as I know they didn' take away her World Heavyweight Champion belt.

Naaaaah, let's just continue being laid back dudes. You may think it'd be impossible to out-laid-back a ponytail, but what if I told you that as I type this, I am literally laying back? Just full-on reclined.

Yeah, I don't think I'm saying what you think I'm saying even a little bit. Maybe I'm not being clear, or maybe you just like arguing so later you can do the "unfrozen caveman lawyer" routine, but, you know, as a ponytail. And that's cool, I mean, it's no Reposted a7x Fan, but we don't live in a world of all or…

It was also kind of an origin story, so she wasn't instantly great at everything. Or maybe that was my own playing ability, but I think even the cuts cents showed she was a rookie adventurer.

You know who was the picture of good health? Karen Carpenter.

I instantly thought of this after the several ambiguous "deaths" in the Game of Thrones season finale.

Article, blip and nugget are all perfectly acceptable. "Great" is the word that doesn't belong.

When I see this backlash to the backlash; people saying "what'st wrong with being thin or athletic?" All I hear is "Why isn't there a white history month?" Thin is already the default definition of attractiveness for most people, you don't need any more attention. Giving someone else their moment doesn't take away…

It came out relatively soon after 9/11, and there were legitimate discussions about when it's okay to laugh again. Whatever, my friends and I saw it in the theater twice. Deal with it, terrorists.

This part seemed particularly telling: "the blasphemous Almighty series"
Ned Flanders writes for the A.V. Club now?

Jesus, article, learn to play to your crowd.

That was intentional. Those internal organs are only available as DLC.

That's what high school reunions are for. I escaped puberty looking a lot better than I ever did in high school. Meanwhile, my Facebook feed is lousy with unfuckable monsters.

"I've got a DadBod. It's right next to my MomBod in the Wayne family mausoleum!"