Clerks:TAS quotes that have worked their way into my regular rotation:
"What the hell are you doing here Barkley?"
"Nothing can kill the Grimace."
"Well played, clerks."
"Who driving car? Oh no, bear driving car! How can this be?"
"…now take off your shirt."

Who…in the world…is…the warm up comedian for the eighth grade audience of Carmen Sandiego? Was it Marc Maron? It can't be that hard to find out, gumshoes.

None of those are the same as the big screen, a point they're always sure to bring up the few times a movie is rereleased, like when Disney did Beauty & the Beast and The Lion King in IMAX a few years ago.

What ever happened to rereleases? Use to be studios would just put their classics back in theaters every few years instead of remaking them. So not only does a new generation get to experience the original on the big screen, but it has to be less expensive than financing a whole new movie that might completely tank.

Hey, what if this thing that doesn't normally have swears in had swears in it?

This was actually just a promo for Cosby's new show, Serial Rapists Say the Darndest Things.

Based solely on the header image, I would say he is living in Victorian London with a crime-solving lizard woman and her lesbian lover.

If it's not about Pee Wee Herman dancing to Tequila, then it's named wrong.

Of all the terms I see all the time, yet have no idea what they mean, shoe gaze is one of them.

Aw, you might be a dickhead, but no one who comments here could be a killjoy. This isn't Gawker.

Accurate in that if someone was both a dickhead and a killjoy, they probably wouldn't be employed very long. Unless they're an executive, in which case those are prerequisites.

Yeah, but imagine seeing "Dickhead Killjoy has been fired" on Facebook (which is a pretty awesome/accurate status, actually) and watching as the likes accumulate. That has to sting.

He also replaced Lorenzo Music on The Real Ghostbusters after Bill Murray asked why his character sounded like Garfield, and swooped in to voice Skeeter/Animal/Bunsen on Muppet Babies After Howie Mandel left. He's some kind of voice actor vulture.

I honestly believe there is an infinite number of alternate universes out there, and in at least one of them, Cosby only raped like twenty people.

Convenient that the famously badass Unsullied suddenly turned into hapless stormtroopers.

I wonder if "thatguythatimnot" is available. Or "thatguythatiarent"

And now I'll never get to be a contributer and get a slice of that sweet, sweet Cracked pie.

And sometimes it gives you anti-humor articles about football:
http://www.cracked.com/blog…

They blocked my username during the great Cheese Purge. I could just create a new one, but it's the principle, dammit!

Who am I, Ken Burns? You know the difference between a pirate and a smuggler, right? But maybe you're right; maybe entire populations, based soley on geographic location, all share the exact same opinions, theological ideologies and politics, with not a single dissenting voice among them. That's why elections are…