People used to watch Carson daily on The Tonight Show, now they can watch Carson Daly's show after the Daily Show. And even though Carson Daly isn't on the Tonight Show, he is on Today, but that's not on until tomorrow.

But he did draw attention to them, which still seems pretty shitty. I want everyone standing up, except for you cripples! Bless your tiny misshapen legs for showing up tonight.

"Rock is dead."

Somebody went under a dock and there they saw a rock. But it wasn't a rock. It was a Rock Caesar!

I hope Kanye let them finish after he said Stephen Hawking is the greatest quadriplegic in the world.

How could anyone be scared of something that looks like a commercial for Star Fox? I don't understand what he's saying, but I'll bet it's about the revolutionary Super FX chip.

GED stands for General Education Development. It's sort of like a diploma for people who dropped out of high school.

I don't remember anything about Congo that isn't sesame cake related.

Ah, the rare bodily fluid trifecta.

I don't understand. So running Donkey Kong Country on the Doom engine turns it into Donkey Kong Country 2?

Here's the clip for you Millennials out there. Try to ignore the casual racism, it was a different time.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…

There's this guy I used to work with for only a few months, who smelled like actual shit, that I somehow got roped into friending on Facebook. I keep him on though, for gems like this" "im going too get my ged tommarow"

Colby Sweeny, Olympic shot-putter.

Frank Mula's IMdB page has had more views in the past 12 hours than it has in it's entire existence.

As usual, Conan gets all the credit, while poor Frank Mula has been reduced to living in a hobo camp, cooking a can of beans over a fire, having blown all his sweet Madame's Place cash on his $1,500 a day Fabergé egg habit.

Interesting side note, as a head without a body, I envy the dead.

Written by an astrophysicist, even.

Maybe it was the black kid in the wheel chair from Malcom in the Middle.

Bartleby Simpson.

Tell it to Bart Simpson.