From Brooklyn to Mama Celeste, the only pizza I hate is pretentious pizza. If a restaurant calls its cooks “pizza artists,” its pizza will always - always - taste like a burnt cracker covered in hay.

I’m sure I’m far more cynical than you, and that’s exactly why I buy it. Gentle reminder, Soylent Green took place in 2022. The experimental chain in London was a success for numerous reasons unrelated to the passing of or desire for meat substitutes, the top being a bunch of people wanted Burger King and when they…

No, no, no. The phrase “vehicles stuck in traffic” is what confused me. Instead of using “them” or reiterating “the convoy,” she introduced an additional phrase that made it sound like traffic backed up by the truck-turds was caught in the crossfire, and that they were the ones surprised and pissed they had to clean…

“A bunch of kids chased the People’s Convoy out of the Berkeley-Oakland area of San Francisco late last month by pelting vehicles stuck in traffic with armfuls of Safeway eggs, SFGate reports. Drivers were surprised at the reaction of Bay area residents and pissed they had to scrub their vehicles...Maybe they were…

I just discovered that one of the lesser Kardashians has a lifestyle site, and the one word more upsetting than “moist.”

Ugh. I can see the Hot Wheels box this came in. Flashbacks to KB Toys and Rave hairspray. I’m pretty sure this is the first time the word “greats” has ever been used to describe any AMC model but the Jeep. This thing is fun looking, even if it spent four decades being absolutely hideous, proof even the ugliest trends…

In My Way of Life, Joan Crawford says, “Another important party secret is I always add a splash of vodka to everything.” And she was universally beloved.

French fries are a universally timeless fast food side because they take on the flavor of whatever they’re topped with. They’re basically a vehicle for ketchup. They also travel well frozen and aren’t battered. Pickles get skanky after they’ve been frozen and sog up the batter.

Silicon Valley oligarchs and their troglodytic cheerleaders need to get over one thing: there is no such thing as “free speech” on a corporately operated message board. Musk might be able to avoid shareholder supremacy by taking Twitter private, but that doesn’t mean the Bell Curve of the status quo will continue…

I’m optimistic. I mean, honestly, what’s the alternative? I’m hoping Musk’s Twitter is such an unmitigated disaster, it doesn’t just force the Powers That Be to reign in his own unchained ego, but also force them to put similar personalities in check.

I honestly didn’t even hear about that!

I don’t even think that’s crazy. I’m just not sure a box office franchise would want his name associated with it. They’d be trading crazy for slightly less crazy. But personality aside, I really like him as an actor and I think he’s always been a bit underrated. He’s also kind of adorkable, which I think works much…

I had a few scuffles. They didn’t seem that unordinary to me because he’s kind of scrappy, and that’s definitely not a word I’d use to describe Ezra Miller. I guess he wasn’t necessarily “unhinged,” just...bizarre. He had that weird plagiarism scandal, and then responded to the accusations by plagiarizing the Yahoo!…

Somewhere Shia LaBeouf is seething that he’s no longer the most unhinged actor in Hollywood. I guess The Nick Nolte Academy has a new award winner.

We’ve been rehashing ‘80s nostalgia since the ‘90s and it’s exhausting. I guess it would be neat to see someone who actually remembers the ‘80s pay homage to the ‘80s, but no one seems to get just how orange they really were.

“I mean, how many of the cars that you’ve driven came with a five-foot-long windshield?”

I can’t say I’m surprised. Car company founders are notorious megalomaniacs. Still, “Honda is variously reported to have tossed a geisha out a second-story window...” sounds like it came out of a game of telephone, the kind of corporate gossip that gets tossed out at company holiday parties and embellished year over…

It sounds like Ford is trying to compete with Musk’s cult-of-personality by making Jim Farley a visible face of the company. That sort of thing can’t be manufactured. Musk is a lot of things, good and bad, but all those things are genuinely Musk.

Agreed. Apparently he runs Cars & Bids now so he’s got incentive behind his enthusiasm. Nonetheless, as such a well known auto writer I’m actually surprised he attached his name to such an inevitable, bureaucratic nightmare. He absolutely knows what’s wrong with it. 

Kinda surprised you didn’t mention veteran Jalop Doug DeMuro’s take at the top of the listing.